Far From Home
by rysta cat
Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. UPDATE!
1. Running Into The Past

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.  
  
Summary: Lily's off to a new home! 6th year. Check it out!  
  
Running into the Past  
  
Lillian Evans sat nervously in the cab on the way to Kings Cross, worrying her lip as she thought about Remus again. He hadn't written her. Not recently, anyway. They'd been the best of friends for as long as she could remember, since before elementary school, before she'd moved, before she'd known she was a witch, a magical being like him. When she was eleven, her father had gotten transferred to France for a different, higher job position, and she'd left London, along with her best friends, behind. Beauxbatons was nice she had to admit, although her five years there had not been a pleasant memory. They'd promised to write to each other at least once a month, but they'd usually written once a week- at least, at first they had. The past three years, it seemed as though she'd been left in the dust. He almost never wrote anymore, barely even remembered a Christmas card, much less her birthday. She understood, of course, for she had made a few new friends at Beauxbatons too, so she didn't begrudge Remus his new friends.  
  
Who am I kidding? I had no real friends in France. I need to stop lying to myself; it might become a bad habit. I don't resent him for having new friends, if only he hadn't forgotten his old one.  
  
She had still written him faithfully, almost never receiving any reply. Now she was back, finishing out the last two years of her school career at Hogwarts, one of the finest schools there was. He hadn't written her since early April, and only then it had been a practical joke for April Fools. She wasn't even sure if he knew he'd sent it to her. Then Lily'd been busy or so she told herself, studying for exams and packing. Plus, she'd taken a culture trip to Athens, Greece with the rest of her old schoolmates for the summer, and had only come back to London three days ago. Between then and now she'd shopped for the new school year, buying the essentials in Diagon Alley, packing up her school trunk. He doesn't know I'm coming. Will he be happy to see me? Is he still okay? Is his secret safe? She didn't know, and was anxious. What about Ace? a small voice asked. No, she didn't even want to think about him.  
  
"Miss? Miss?" The driver was looking at her strangely over the seat, and glancing out the window she recognized the train station. I must have been in my own little world, she thought, blushing at the gruff taxicab driver. "We're here. I'll be getting you a trolley," he mumbled, lumbering away.  
  
He helped her lug her trunk out of the back of the cab and onto the trolley, and set her owl, Starwing, who was asleep in his cage, on top of the trunk. She paid him, counting out the pounds into his hand, and gave him a tip. He gawked for a moment then tried to push some of the money back into her hands. "Now, now, lass, the tip be too much."  
  
"No, really, you had to deal with my owl and everything, just keep it. Thanks." Turning, she pushed her trolley away, heading for the platform she'd been told to- platform 9 and ¾. Walking along quickly so as to not attract much attention, she soon made it to the barrier. Glancing at her watch, she saw that she was a bit early; it was still 10:35. As the train wasn't to leave until 11 o'clock, she strolled over to a nearby bakery, where she bought herself a croissant, one of her favorite pastries.  
  
Having spent ten minutes filling her empty stomach, she walked back over to the platform, her stomach filled with butterflies. Don't worry, she told herself. You'll make it through the barrier, and Remus will be happy to see you.if he ever does see you. Walking towards the barrier in a display of utter confidence that belied her true feelings, she stepped into the barrier and beyond. It took her breath away, and she paused for a moment, collecting herself. The platform was crowded with students, and hovering parents waiting to say goodbye. Coming to her senses, she walked over to the train, and attempted to stow away her trunk, 'attempted' being the keyword there. After five minutes of huffing and shoving and not moving it anywhere, she was just about to give up when a boy with auburn hair and freckles galore approached her. She almost panicked, thinking it was Chase, but then she noticed his warm blue eyes, and almost sighed in relief. "Need some help?" he asked, grinning dashingly.  
  
Smiling, Lily wiped her palms on her jeans and held out a hand. "Lily Evans, and I'd be much obliged."  
  
"Hello Lily Evans, I'm Drew, Andrew Thompson. I don't believe I've seen you around before Miss Evans." Winking, he lifted the trunk like it was a feather and tossed it in with the others.  
  
"You probably haven't," she replied, somewhat awed by his strength. "I'm new here, kind of." Is it noticeable? she wondered. Do I have 'French' stamped on my forehead?  
  
"Kind of?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts.  
  
"Yeah. I'm the transfer student from Beauxbatons. I used to live in London."  
  
"Ah hah! I knew I heard a bit of a French accent."  
  
"Is it really obvious?" she asked, worried.  
  
"Nah, not really. What year are you in, Lily? Second? Third?"  
  
"Believe it or not, I'm in sixth," she grinned again, watching his face register a bit of shock.  
  
"But.but you're only.not even five feet tall."  
  
"You noticed. Actually, I'm 5'1'', barely. In fact, looking at you is going to give me a throbbing neck ache later on."  
  
He laughed, and glanced at his watch. "Better find a compartment, Lily, the train's about to leave. Look up my sister Molly; she's in sixth year too. Look for red hair and blue eyes. Can't miss her. If you can't find her, let me know. See you." He walked away, over to one of his friends who was waving frantically from a window.  
  
"Thanks," she called after him, and hopped onto the train. Walking through the different compartments, wondering where she should sit, she was practically run over by someone who was bouncing (not literally, although Malfoy does come to mind.wrong generation) down the hall. Black eyes swam into her vision as a rather large hand reached down to help her up. Lily allowed herself to be hauled to her feet, and commenced with brushing off her clothes as the other babbled apologies. Looking up, she first spotted the devilishly handsome boy in front of her, with sexy black eyes peaking out from luxurious eyelashes and shaggy black hair to match. He was the one apologizing for his clumsiness. Her gaze shifted to the three boys behind him, centering on one boy. She froze, her breath strangled in her throat and tears of happiness welled up in her eyes.  
  
"Oh, now look what you did, Sirius, you made the poor little lass cry," said one of the tallest boys with warm chocolate brown eyes.  
  
"Don't cry," Sirius begged, trying to sound lighthearted, but looking shocked. He'd never made anyone cry before, excluding his favorite nemesis, Severus Snape. "I really am sorry."  
  
She barely heard him as she finally found her voice. "Remus?" she whispered.  
A/N: Please review! Let me know what you think.did you dig it? Do you want to slap me upside my head?  
  
*crys* 


	2. Explanations and Arguments

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.  
  
Summary: Lily's off to a new home! 6th year. Includes MWPP!  
  
Explanations and Arguments  
  
The speaker stopped apologizing, looking around at his sandy-haired friend in relief and curiosity, shooting him a look that said, 'ha ha, this is not my fault, it's yours.' "I'm sorry," Remus said slowly, silver eyes puzzled. "Do I know you?"  
  
"Ream! How can you not remember me?" she asked, her eyes begging him to recognize her. She hadn't changed that much had she? Her hair had gone a deeper red than before, and she had shed her childhood body, but she wasn't all that different. Was she? There was a long pause. Then-  
  
"Lily?" he gasped, staring at her. His three friends were watching animatedly, confused. She nodded slightly, and smiled shakily.  
  
"You do remember me. I was afraid you'd forgotten I existed, all the way over in France."  
  
"Never," he cried, and rushed over to hug her. She clung to him for a long time, so very happy to see him again.  
  
"I- I was afraid you wouldn't be happy to see me, seeing as you have new friends and all," she whispered in his ear. "Are girls still 'off limits'?" she asked mockingly, recalling how often Remus had been made fun of for having a girl for a best friend. Ace too, a corner of her mind said. She ignored it.  
  
"No," he said with a grin. "Girls are definitely not 'off limits'. And what are you talking about, lickle Nicca? These guys? Replace you?" he asked, pulling away. "Yeah right, in what world, Lily Flower?" She gave him a look. "So, I've been a little busy. I did miss you, though, I truly did."  
  
"Want to introduce us, Remus?" the chocolate-eyed boy asked, nudging Remus in the side.  
  
"Yeah," Sirius piped up, seemingly unable to refrain from commenting for so long. "Who'd I almost kill? An old girlfriend? Kind of robbing the cradle, aren't you Moony?"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes at Lily, and turned. "Can't a guy get a few moments to reminisce about the good ol' times? This is one of my very best friends Lily. Plus, she's in our year, you dolt! Robbing the cradle my ass! Lily, meet the guys. Guys, Lily."  
  
"Oh, what a help that is," she teased, looking from one boy to the next. "Let me see," she said, tapping her finger on her chin. "From his infrequent letters.you're Sirius," she pointed to the black-eyed boy, who was anything but serious. "You're.uh, you're James," she pointed to the boy sporting the specs and wild hair, "and you." she paused, trying to think.  
  
"He probably forgot to mention me," the pudgy boy said sadly.  
  
"No, he did. Let me think a moment. Ah hah! Peter!" she announced proudly. The boy perked up, nodding enthusiastically.  
  
"Prongs! She knows our real names!" Sirius gasped in what should have been a stage whisper, except it was Sirius, so it wasn't. "We'll have to do away with her!"  
  
James nodded gravely, his eyes shining. Lily pretended to look horrified. "Names? Did I mention names, Remus? No, I don't think I did. I'm pretty sure it was Guy 1, Guy 2, and Guy 3."  
Sirius pondered that for a moment. "Okay, fine, you win this round. I know what you really are! If that's the way you're going to play it, though." He lowered his voice, speaking in a horrible imitation mobster accent. "You'll be sleeping with the fishes, before the year is out, my word on it."  
  
"So," James interrupted Sirius, who was now muttering unintelligibly to himself about the best way to 'do away' with Lily. "How do you know her, Moony?"  
  
"Yeah," Peter said. "Is she really your ex-girlfriend?"  
  
"No." Remus shook his head. "No, I've known my Lily Flower since we were toddlers. Our mum's were best friends, so we grew up together. She's sister status."  
  
"So she knows about your.you know.condition?" James asked quietly, glancing around the hallway.  
  
"Yes, she knows about that mess."  
  
"They know? You actually decided to tell them? Way to go!" Lily congratulated him.  
  
"No, he didn't tell us, we had to figure it out," Sirius announced, focusing intently on her again.  
  
Lily punched Remus playfully, knowing she couldn't hurt him even if she tried. "Coward," she muttered, her eyes glowing ruthlessly. He grinned sheepishly while Sirius looked triumphant and James just laughed.  
  
"We have to go," Peter announced suddenly, almost coldly, and Lily thought she almost saw a glint of jealousy in his eye. Jealous? Of what?  
  
"Oh, yes!" Sirius jumped to his feet. "We were on a- well, a mission before I accidentally ran into you. Sorry about that, by the way," he apologized, for about the hundredth time.  
  
"Can Lily come?" Remus asked James quietly out of her hearing, while Sirius explained the complex prank to her.  
  
"I guess I don't have a problem with it," he said, but was cut off by Peter.  
  
"No! I mean, it's just, she'd be in the way, and she might tell. We don't know her too well, Remus, and anyway, who's to say she'd want to come?"  
  
Remus' voice became a low growl. "She'd be in the way? You mean, like you usually are, Peter? I don't ever see you help much during pranks! And her? Tell on us? You've got to be kidding me. The day Lily rats out one of her friends is the day she.well, there'd never be a day, so there."  
  
"Now Remus," James began soothingly.  
  
"You don't know her too well Remus, she's probably changed since you were eleven! For pities sake, if she was so all-fired important to you we'd have heard about her before now! Best friend? You didn't even recognize her! She's not to be trusted."  
  
Remus trembled with rage and fear, fear that Peter was right. He closed his eyes, tormented by the fact that he had forgotten Lily, despite the fact that she wrote him at least once a month and had recognized him immediately. He spoke dejectedly. "Fine, whatever. You can tell her she can't come, I won't do it." With that he turned, and after brushing a quick brotherly kiss on Lily's cheek and a few murmured words, he stalked out of the compartment.  
  
James glared at Peter accusingly. "Nice going Peter. Although what you have to say may have a valid point, there was no reason to get nasty. All five of us will discuss this later. Right now we have a prank to pull."  
  
He turned to face Lily, who had recovered from Remus' abrupt exit and was talking animatedly to Sirius again. James tapped his friend on the shoulder. "Really sorry, Lily, but we have a pressing engagement. It was nice meeting you." He turned quickly, dragging Sirius towards the door, flanked by Peter, in a way that practically screamed that she wasn't invited to join them. He didn't want to wait to see the radiant glow fade from her magnificent eyes.  
  
"Oh," she sighed, sounding slightly disappointed. "Sure. Sorry to have kept you. I was looking for someone anyway. It really was nice meeting you." She smiled bravely- although James saw it falter a little at the corners- and walked out the other door, in the direction she'd been heading before.  
  
"Why'd you go and do that, James?" Sirius asked, annoyed. "We were having a great conversation before you butted in. You hurt her feelings, you know."  
  
"I know," James snapped, feeling irritated and not knowing why. "It's not my fault."  
  
"Then whose is it?" Sirius demanded.  
  
"Look, what is it to you?" Peter jumped in defensively. "You talk to her for barely five minutes and already you're best friends with her too? Don't forget, we have a prank to pull. I don't see what's so great about her, anyway."  
  
Sirius fumed, searching for something to say. "Peter.you're just being stuck up. At least I talked to her; you barely said anything to her at all. You don't even know what you're saying, man!" With that, he jogged off to catch up with Remus, who was 2 compartments ahead of them, sulking.  
  
"Well, you agree with me, right?" Peter asked James hopefully. James just glared at him. It was the first time in his life that he was not in a good mood before a prank, and he felt annoyed at Lily for causing this slight battle between him and his friends. He wouldn't be able to enjoy this now, not with those intense, hurt green eyes lingering at the back of his mind.  
A/N: How's it going? Any comments?  
  
-crys- 


	3. Peter Tells All

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.  
  
Summary: Lily's off to a new home! 6th year. Includes MWPP!  
  
Peter Tells All  
  
Remus and Sirius walked slowly next to each other, each thinking their own thoughts. Remus turned to Sirius. "Well?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"Well, what did you think of her?"  
  
"You know you don't need our permission, Moony, you're allowed to have your own friends," And so are you! Sirius's brain yelled at him. Seeing the look on his friends face, he sighed. Sirius knew as well as Remus that if at least half of the Marauders didn't trust an outside friend enough to be polite to them, the friendship wouldn't last. That was just how it was, no matter how unintentional. Remus was determined to keep Lily, though. She needed him and he, her.  
  
"Great Wizards," Remus sighed, sounding defeated. "Just tell me what you thought."  
  
"I liked her," Sirius answered truthfully. "She's great! I mean, do you know she had a few suggestions to help make our prank better? Unbelievable. She's nothing like any of the girls here, who are constantly giggling, twirling their hair, and stumbling at our feet, hoping we'll say 'Hey, want to go out? We could snog.' " Sirius snorted, remembering the last offer he'd had.  
  
"You really like her?" Remus asked hopefully.  
  
"Would I say I did if I didn't? She's a breath of fresh air in my mind and what a hottie, too."  
  
Remus flushed, protective of Lily, and was about to tell Sirius to back off, when another voice interrupted the two. "Who's a hottie?" Chase asked curiously. Remus could have smacked himself. They'd reached the compartment they were supposed to meet the fifth prankster at. He had to stop Sirius from saying exactly who, for he was about to reply.  
  
"No one important, Ace," Remus said lightly, shooting a look at Sirius. "Just some muggle Sirius spotted at the station, right Padfoot?" Sirius nodded, unsure why Remus wanted to keep Lily a secret.  
  
"Oh. Well, are we ready?"  
  
"Almost," Sirius responded. "Let's go into the compartment and I'll tell you some changes that have been added. Moony, you wait for Prongs and the Worm." Remus nodded, almost letting out his breath in relief. He could tell James and Peter to not mention Lily Evans, and Chase wouldn't have to know that his twin was going to Hogwarts. - at least not yet. Remus also noted Sirius' use of 'the Worm' and looked at Sirius gratefully. So he was not the only one mad at the rat. It was good to not be alone in this.  
  
His thoughts turned back to his immediate problem. How could I have forgotten Chase like that? She didn't mention him at all, and that's not a good sign. This is NOT going to be pretty, I can tell. What to do? Lily had been furious when her parents had let Chase stay, furious that he would desert her like that, furious that her father wouldn't let her stay too, just because she was their 'little girl', and he told her that she didn't know what she wanted. Chase had stayed with Remus, who was his very best friend next to Lily. Lily had never owled Chase, and Remus never mentioned the owls he got. He knew Chase was bitter about Lily and she about him. No, this was not going to be pretty. He looked up as he heard footsteps approaching.  
  
"Where are Padfoot and Ace?" Peter asked, looking around. James said nothing. He looked like he was also in a foul mood. Oh great, Remus thought dryly. That makes three of us. And if Ace knew, it'd be four. Lily always did love to stir things up, even if unintentionally.  
  
Glaring coldly at Peter, Remus turned towards the compartment door. "They're in here," he mumbled, giving both the cold shoulder. "Don't mention Lily to Ace, understand?"  
  
"Why?" Peter whined, not quite understanding he was already on Remus' 'list'.  
  
"Just don't," he snapped, worried they would anyway. He opened the door, revealing their compartment, which was filled with trunks, a few owls, some trick bags, and Sirius and Ace. The three boys walked in.  
  
"We've made all the adjustments," Sirius stated, not sounding as happy as he might have earlier.  
  
"What adjustments?" James asked curiously.  
  
"The adjustments L-" Remus shot him a look. "-Moony suggested on the way down." James looked skeptical; Remus looked relieved, Peter and Ace seemed oblivious to Sirius' slip up.  
  
"Oh," James cleared is throat, wishing he wasn't on such bad terms with his two best friends. "Are we ready then?"  
  
"Yes," all of them coursed, some sounding more excited than others.  
  
Chase finally noticed. "What is wrong with you lot?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing," they all mumbled.  
  
"Sure." he replied sarcastically. "And I'm a house-elf! Why can't you tell me? First Remus and Sirius act oddly, then you two." Three of them looked at the floor. "Don't all of you speak up at once now," he added in the ensuing silence.  
  
"Well, its all that girl's fault," Peter began, as the other three whipped their heads up from their study of the floor to stare at him unbelievingly. Remus felt rage building up inside him, his silver eyes daring Peter to continue. Sirius was angry also, knowing Peter was going against Remus' request, breaking the code of friendship, and couldn't wait to 'tell' Peter so, preferably with his fists. James was both puzzled, and a bit annoyed. Worry showed in his face.  
  
"What girl?" Ace asked. His hazel eyes were glowing with impatience, and he ran a hand through his spiky red-orange hair, confused. "Just spit it out already."  
  
Peter, unaware of the tension in the room, continued nonchalantly. "Some girl named Lily.Remus knows her. She's the transfer from Beauxbatons we overheard Dumbledore talking about last year." Ace seemed to stand there in a trance. Then it hit him.  
  
"What?!" he shouted, trembling with fury and sadness mingled together. Peter cowered in a corner as every boy in the compartment glared at him for different reasons, but his unease was short lived as Ace rounded on Remus, and three pairs of eyes shifted to them. "Explain," he growled at Remus. His eyes were frosted over, his fists clenched and his heart hammered against his ribs, all of his freckles standing out on his pale face.  
  
"Calm down, Ace, I swear I didn't know about it until today when we ran into her." You didn't even recognize her, a spiteful voice whispered in his mind. He blocked it off. "I wanted to wait to tell you, in private."  
  
"Oh really? Before or after I 'ran into her' also?" Ace was practically shouting at his best friend, afraid that if he stopped being angry, he would cry, and fifteen year old boys didn't cry. Lily? he thought. Here?  
  
"Ace, buddy, chill out. Tell us why this girl bothers you so much," James intervened, getting over Chase's initial reaction (which was blown way out of proportion in his mind), trying to stop the impeding argument.  
  
"Chill out?" Chase's voice was frosty, his gaze never leaving Remus'. "You don't even know what you're saying James."  
  
"Then tell us," James pressed.  
  
"I- I can't," Chase choked, some of his anger leaving him.  
  
"Old girlfriend?" Peter ventured, but backed down into his corner again at the glowering looks he received.  
  
Chase laughed bitterly, painfully fighting off his emotions. "I wish," he mumbled. He whirled on Remus again. "I knew she was writing you," he said softly.  
  
It was Remus' turn to look shocked. "You- you did? Why didn't you say anything?"  
  
Chase replied dully. "What was I supposed to say? How could I be jealous? How dare I be jealous. I left her, deserted her. She didn't walk away like I did, and I did it without looking back. I didn't even care, not then. It was Lily. She was always there, whether I wanted her there or not, and I didn't understand fully what 'her Beauxbatons, me Hogwarts' truly meant for us. And now she's back.I just- how the hell could you not know?" Chase's face was contorted with pain, leaving James and Sirius bewildered, Remus understanding, and Peter.asleep. ( I don't really like him.) He never did like confessions of feelings.  
  
The compartment door slid open, and Drew Thompson, a seventh year Gryffindor and Quidditch Team Captain, stuck his head in. "Any of you lot seen Molly? I've been looking for her."  
  
"Since when do you hunt for your sister instead of avoiding her?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Uh, this is a bad time, isn't it?" he asked, glancing around. Remus and James nodded. "Alright then, if you see her, let me know." Turning, he shouted to someone.  
  
"She's not in this one, either. That one?"  
  
"No, not in here," a familiar voice called and Remus panicked.  
A/N: What else am I supposed to say? A bit of a cliffy, but I'm sure you'll live.  
  
^crys^ 


	4. Confrontations

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.  
  
Summary: Lily's off to a new home! 6th year. Includes MWPP!  
  
Confrontations  
It sounded as though it was getting closer. Lily can't walk in here! The Ancient Wizards weren't feeling kind though, and Lily walked up to Drew. Remus saw Chase stiffen at her appearance. "It's okay, Drew, you don't have to help me find her." she trailed off as she stared past him. A few seconds passed, then she looked back up at Drew. "Thanks," she said more curtly. "I can take it from here."  
  
"If you're sure," he replied, looking a little unsure and a bit disappointed at not having an excuse to stay in her presence. After a moment, he walked back down the corridor, tossing over his shoulder, "You know where to find me if you need me, Lily."  
  
Nodding and waving absently, she whirled back to face all five young men. Remus felt Ace go even more rigid at the mention of her name, all the conformation he needed. "Boys," she said, nodding politely at them. Polite, but not friendly. Uh oh, Remus thought. What did they do? Must've hit a nerve. More icily, she continued, focusing on her twin. "Chase." Chase blanched at the use of his proper name. She had never called him Chase, ever. When they were babies, she could only say "ace", so it stuck. Not once had he ever heard his given name on her lips and it hurt, twisting into his heart like a knife.  
  
Sneering away his pain, he nodded curtly at her, his eyes cold. "Lillian."  
  
"How's the Hogwarts life, Chase? Have you enjoyed it much these past five years? I see you replaced me; but I knew you would when you didn't say goodbye. When you just skipped into Remus' house, not looking back." Her voice quivered on this last line, almost losing it's cold facade. "Not once did you look back."  
  
James and Sirius were confused. What's with them? Sirius thought. Can someone explain what's going on?!  
  
"Lily." Chase seemed taken aback, and he stepped forward, trying to comfort her.  
  
"No," she said softly, backing away from him. Then, more frantically, "NO! Don't come near me Chase Evans! You don't deserve to be near me! You put this distance here! You burnt the bridge. I didn't. I wouldn't." Tears sprang up in her eyes. She turned away, not wanting them to see the tears fall.  
  
"Lily, don't cry, please don't cry. You know I can't stand to see you cry," Chase murmured, trying to be comforting from a distance.  
  
"Stop it!" she screamed through sobs. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same, and that was your doing. You lost your chance, Chase Colby Evans. Don't pretend to express care for me, when I know differently. For all I care, you can burn in hell for eternity!" Whirling, she fled the compartment, slamming the door loudly behind her. The echoing silence was deafening, and they all stared at the slammed door.  
  
"Well, fine!" Chase yelled out, fuming at the closed door. "Fine! Be that way Lily Evans! But you remember this!" He stormed out of the compartment also, and stalked off in the other direction.  
  
Peter, who had woken up during all the commotion, asked dully, "Does this mean the prank's off?" This announcement was followed by silent disbelief. Then-  
  
"This is all your fault," Remus snarled, sounding like the werewolf he was. He lifted Peter off the ground and slammed him into the wall in a rare show of violence. "What did I say to you? Huh? What did I say? I said 'Don't mention Lily to Ace.' What do you go and do? Great Godric, Worm! Did you think I just wanted to amuse myself by keeping that tidbit of information from Ace?? Urgh, I can't even look at you." Remus dropped him, and slammed himself into a chair at the other end of the compartment. After checking Peter's pulse (he fainted from fright, the wuss!), James joined Sirius at the other end of the compartment. Sirius was standing tentatively near Remus, watching him with wide black eyes.  
  
"So." James said slowly. "Care to explain that little fiasco, Remus? Other secrets we need to know about the troublemaker, Lily? Any other people she used to know?"  
  
Remus just growled in response.  
  
"Come off it, Moony, we just want to help," Sirius pouted, acting like a first year.  
  
"Yeah," James threw in. "It's like we're falling apart, ripping at the seams."  
  
Remus sighed. "Oh, James, you're so melodramatic. True, the Marauders haven't ever fought before, at least-- not like this, but we're not 'falling apart'. One girl doesn't ruin so many friendships, especially in so little time, and certainly not on purpose. Don't you ever think about anyone besides yourself?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean, huh? I think about other people all the time! And if she's not making an effort, I'd hate to see what we'd do to each other if she did," James muttered, thoroughly annoyed.  
  
"Please, James. Moony, it would make things somewhat easier if you'd shed a little light on this," Sirius begged, looking torn.  
  
"I wish I could Padfoot, but it's really not my story to tell. I'm not sure Ace would want you guys to know just yet."  
  
"Damn it!" Sirius yelled. "Moony, we want to help you, help Ace. We can't, not without knowing what's going on. I thought after the werewolf thing we all promised not to keep secrets. You and Ace were holding out. I suggest you start explaining."  
A/N: Will he explain?! Who knows? Oh yeah, I do. Reviews are yummy in my tummy.  
  
*crys* 


	5. The Truth Comes Out

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.  
  
Summary: Lily's off to a new home! 6th year. Includes MWPP!  
  
The Truth Comes Out  
"It's not like it matters, if they know," a soft voice said from the door, startling the boys. Turning, they spotted Arabella Figg, aka Bella if you didn't want to die a slow death. She was in their year, a natural blonde with solemn blue eyes. A fellow, albeit distant Gryffindor with a sweet temperament. Now where does she fit into all this? Sirius wondered. "I take it Ace isn't taking all this too well?"  
  
"How did you know?" Remus whispered.  
  
"Know what? That she's back?" Remus nodded. "You're not the only one she wrote these last five years. Plus, I glimpsed her in Diagon Alley just a few days ago. I was looking for her when I heard your voices. I figured she and Ace had just had a row, seeing as how they're on such bad terms, and someone said they saw her running down the hall, crying hard. I was just about to go get her." Bella had been Lily's best friend, besides her twin, living across the street from the Evans' and the Lupin's since they'd all been age six. Bella was even closer to Lily than Remus, so the fact that she'd been written to as well wasn't really all that surprising for him. She knew, and she was going to make him tell the others. Oh well, Remus thought wryly, at least I tried to keep it a secret. "You have to tell them, Ream, they need to know."  
  
Nodding again, Remus settled back into his chair, staring into space for a moment. Bella came and sat next to him, stroking his arm comfortingly. "It's like this. If you haven't already gathered so by the argument, Lily and Ace are siblings; twins, in fact.we all grew up together, Ace, Lily, Bella, and I. We were the best of friends, kind of like us, the Marauders, you know? Then Mr. Evans got transferred to France."  
  
Bella took up the story. "Lily and Ace really didn't want to leave their home or their friends; the acceptance letters they'd gotten from Hogwarts a week after the announcement of the move only increased their will to stay. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were really undecided as to what to do. Then, the day before they left, Mr. Evans announced that Ace could stay here with Remus, if he chose to do so, and go to Hogwarts. Lily, however, could not."  
  
"Why not?" Sirius interrupted.  
  
"Because Mr. Evans is old-fashioned, and he didn't want to leave his 'little girl' in London while he lived in France for god-knows-how-long."  
  
"But that's so.wrong."  
  
"I know, Sirius, I agree." Bella looked sad.  
  
"They did let Ace decide, just in case he changed his mind, but he didn't. He loved Lily, of course, she was his other half after all. But he was eleven, and boys and girls didn't play together, and he was tired of her, I guess. She's right, you know, he just ran off, as soon as he heard, to pack all his stuff up. Didn't stay to help Lily fight her case, didn't change his mind, didn't care she was leaving him. It was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. He barely spoke to her during the last 48 hours she spent in London. Too excited to be staying, I guess. She sat in the back seat, staring at him, after she'd said goodbye, which he didn't return, he didn't even notice her. He just raced into my backyard, climbed into the four of our's secret fort, and he made prank plans for Hogwarts.unbelievable." Remus shook his head. "I remember," he whispered, sounding ashamed. "I remember how disgusted I was with him, for doing that to her. I was glad Lily didn't write him at first, thought he deserved it." Remus swallowed hard, and looked at Bella. "I did the same thing, didn't I?" he asked softly.  
  
Bella tried to make him feel better. "It was bound to happen Remus, with her all the way in France, and you guys constantly up to something here. It's not like she resents it, she understands."  
  
"That's not the point," he growled. "You didn't forget about her, you wrote her faithfully back, didn't you? You just barley glimpsed her in a crowd and recognized her, I looked at her for a full four minutes without knowing who she was!"  
  
"You're right," she whispered. "I didn't forget. But I don't have as many things on my mind, I mean." she bit her lip, knowing that no matter what she said, Remus would blame himself, as was his nature.  
  
"That explains a good bit," James muttered. "Is that why neither of you mentioned Lily? Because of Ace?"  
  
"He always did sulk around his birthday," Sirius remarked. "Is that because he left her on such bad terms?"  
  
"That might be partially why, but no, that's not really it. They always celebrated together, big bashes in their enormous backyard. I think he just plain missed her," Bella said.  
  
"What am I going to do?" Remus asked, putting his face in his hands.  
  
"How will you choose?" Bella wondered.  
  
"I can't, and I won't," he said firmly.  
  
"You know that won't work. If you do that they'll both be mad at you."  
  
"I don't know, maybe they've matured since they were ten, Bella," he argued, sounding not at all sure.  
  
"Yeah, right," James snorted. "Maybe Lily has, but Ace? Were you not here? Did you not just see that row? I do believe he stuck his tongue out at her, at one point."  
  
Sirius glared at James. Does he not understand how important this is to Moony? he wondered. I mean, Prongs knows who he's going to fight for, he's going to side with Ace. How can he not? The Worm too- he seemed jealous of Lily, of her sparkling personality, her outgoing nature. Hell, I've know Ace five years longer than Lily, but I wonder.will I hurry to his side? I'm not sure. What he did was despicable. And then there's that issue with Moony, clouding my thoughts.this really bites!  
  
Clearing his throat, he caught James eye and nodded his head towards the door. He excused himself, muttering incoherently about the bathroom. About three minutes later James appeared in the hall. "What took you so long?"  
  
"Well, I had to think of something, you'd already used the bathroom excuse. So what is it, Paddy?"  
  
"I hate being called Paddy!" He stopped, took a deep breath. I'll get James for that one later! "It's about Ace and Remus. What are you going to do?"  
  
"Do?" James frowned, confused. "I'm not going to do anything."  
  
"You know what I mean," Sirius snapped, exasperated. "Sides, James, sides! When it all comes down to it, what are you going to do?"  
  
"I'm going to stick by my friends," James replied, a little coldly, wondering why Sirius was questioning his loyalties, of all people.  
  
"What a typical Gryffindor answer," a cold, drawling voice called out. Sirius and James looked around swiftly, soon spotting someone they'd rather not see. "No, wait, loyalty is more Hufflepuff's style."  
  
"Malfoy." James nodded tightly, and somehow made it seem insulting. "What brings you all the way down to the good end of the train?"  
  
"Just the thought of beating you senseless," he replied calmly.  
  
"My, my, not a nice way to start the year," Sirius sneered, sizing up his two goons, Avery and Nott. "Where're Snape and Parkinson? Did they finally stop kissing up to you and start kissing each other? That might boost their confidence, I daresay."  
  
"I kiss up to no one," another boy said. Severus Snape ran one of his hands through his greasy black hair, pushing it out of his eyes, while the other hand fingered his wand.  
  
"Oh, so you and Parkinson have just arrived back from you snog session, I see. I knew Slytherin turned out Dark wizards, but who would've guessed that some would be gay. Doesn't sound like something Voldemort would welcome into his circles, if he were to find out such things about his 'ickle future Death Eaters'." Sirius' eyes blazed, goading them, hoping for a fight.  
  
The two boys turned red with anger and embarrassment. "How.how dare you!" Roark Parkinson stuttered, totally appalled at the very idea of snogging with Snape.  
  
Sirius opened his mouth again, when James elbowed him. "As much as we'd love to stay in your rather disturbing presence and discuss your latest lovers, we're horribly tied up. See you at dinner." With that James literally dragged Sirius away from the Slytherins down the hall, heading towards their compartment. "We'll finish our previous discussion later. Not now."  
A/N: Hah. Take that Mr. Grease! So whoopee, this is the end of chapter five.  
  
~crys~ 


	6. Figg, Bella Figg: Commando Knight

****

A/N: Sorry it took so long to post again! School is crazy, and I just havent felt the urge to write………sorry guys! To my three reviewers-

Thanks so much, your support means everything! Again, still looking for betas! See "For You, The Reader" for more details!! And now, more of "Far From Home."

Figg, Bella Figg: Commando Knight

Lily sat locked in one of the many bathrooms located on the train, sobbing loudly into her hands. She was stressed, distraught, and hurt, she just couldn't stand to see him. 

__

Oh my god, he looked so much like I thought he would. I've missed him. How could he do this to me?

She heard soft knocking on the door, and called out in a wavering voice, "This one's occupied!"

"Lillian Nicholetta Evans, you open this door right this minute! You hear me? Right this minute!" Bella's voice screeched through the heavy door, and Lily sighed heavily.

__

At least Bella can save me from this black hole.

"Hold on, _Arabella Marie Figg_, don't get your panties in a twist!"

"What miscreant told you such lies~ who says I'm wearing panties?!" the other girl called back, causing many thumps and howls up and down the hall. Lily giggled in spite of herself, listening to a muffled voice complain.

"Aw, Bella," a young male voice whined, "don't say stuff like that when I'm holding my Arithmancy book _and_ my Transfiguration book at the same time!"

"Sorry Cody!" she called, and Lily heard her knock again. "Come on, please? I haven't seen you in five years!"

"You've seen pictures," Lily replied pertly.

"You know what I mean! How can you do this to your poor, lonesome buddy? Your best friend forever?" Puppy whines came from the closed door, and Lily chuckled louder.

"Okay, okay, wouldn't want you making a scene," she grumbled, glad her friend was there. She opened the door and found Bella on her knees, pouting and clutching her hands in silent prayer. "Who _are_ you praying to? The prank god?"

"You were always better than me at 'em, and you know it, Great Nicca, goddess of pranks!"

"Get up, you're drawing looks."

"Of course I am! I'm a sexy chinchilla!"

"Oh yeah, sure." Lily rolled her eyes, relief flooding her. They just fell back into routine, albeit more mature, but easygoing and understanding and _familiar_. "How are you, Bella Marie?"

"Better, now that you're here. Much better. Oh, lord, I missed you!" Bella reached over and hugged Lily tightly, and Lily finally let herself go.

"I m-missed you s-so much!" Lily sobbed. "They were so c-cold in France, _so freaking cold_. I was trash, Belle, pure trash be-because I was English! I could s-speak p-perfect French. I was quiet and composed at _all_ times. I almost never pulled pranks because the French are stuck-up, stuffy fruitcakes who d-don't approve of such 'childish antics.' I was exactly the opposite of the real me and I was still n-never accepted because I wasn't good enough. I ha-hated it there, I absolutely hated it! The only thing that kept me going was your letters." Bella listened, holding her best friend and rocking her protectively, comforting her.

"It's okay, sweetheart. It's all going to be okay, love. I'm here, I'm here, I won't let them hurt you," she whispered into Lily's hair, holding her closer.

They were more like family than anyone either girl was related to by blood. Bella was rich, and had cold, distant parents, who were always so busy with 'important business'. She had been brought up by her nanny Delilah, who was more of a mother than Pollyanna Figg ever would be. As for Lily, her father had never been an important part of her life. Someone who was never around when he was wanted, and _was_ when he wasn't; then he died, and it didn't matter. Since his death six months ago, Lily's mum was too caught up in their debt and her pain to reach out to anyone in any way resembling loving. Her mother was deep in depression, and Petunia had always hated her and Ace for what they were, had always loathed them for their old closeness. Bella, Remus, and Ace had been her whole world, her whole family, and they had been ripped away from her. _Not everyone, _a malicious part of her said tauntingly._ Ace _chose_ to stay._

Lily, hiccupping now, trudged on despite them. "He didn't seem fazed, all these years, like it was nothing, like I was supposed to forgive him for five years of pain, five years of lonely existence. I wanted to die Bella," she said suddenly, a frightful calm coming over her. "I was so miserable I welcomed death. I beckoned it. I _begged_ it. I ached for death; there was a bottomless hole in my soul I couldn't seem to fill, it hungered for my pain. A quick and painless trip to heaven or hell, it would have all been over. I would have been free of the hurt I feel."

"Oh Jesus, Lily, why didn't you tell me? Tell Remus?" Bella smoothed her friend's hair, suddenly aware of how lost she would have been without her.

"What? Write you from France to announce pre-death tidings?" Lily laughed harshly. "What would it have said? Dear Bella, I want to kill myself, I am so miserable I'm willing to end it all, look me up when you get here, wherever here is, love your suicidal friend Lily?"

"That's not funny!" Bella choked, tears rolling down her face.

"It wasn't supposed to be. What am I going to do with myself, Bella? I'm in a bad state………you think I belong in St. Mungo's, don't you?"

"Oh, no honey, not at all. Your life will be new here. I promise you."

"Are you so sure? I'm not. Sure, Drew Thompson was fairly nice to me, downright friendly in fact, but…

"What?" Bella gasped, wiping a few tears away. "_Drew Thompson? THE ANDREW THOMPSON?_ The Gryffindor Quidditch Team Captain? The sexy Hogwarts God every girl wants? And you think you're off to a bad start here?"

Lily waved her hand impatiently. "But what about the people who really count?"

"If he doesn't count, then I don't know who does," Bella muttered distractedly.

"You know who I'm talking about! Remus and his friends. After his initial reaction, Remus didn't seem very happy to see me here. Not at all, actually. He just kind of stalked out of the compartment with a chivalrous kiss on the cheek and a little whisper of 'I'm so happy to see you, I love you, I have to go' kind of thing. But it was all stiff and unnatural, you know? In fact, it seemed kind of forced. And the other two boys didn't like me either. All except for the dark, shaggy-haired one: Sirius. He was sweet, and he was really friendly. He was practically dragged out by the other two boys. And then there's…there's Ace. So in that little group, maybe one was happy to see me for about five minutes, and another was friendly enough, and the rest disliked or hated me. What if everyone hates me, because they do? I know how important they are, how popular they are, how well-known in this school…and even if other people like me, if they don't, then it doesn't even matter that others do………"

"Now, Lily, I'm sure you're overreacting. Remus was probably just preoccupied…"

"With Chase," Lily growled resentfully. "I should have known, should have realized that even though the four of us had been the best of friends, that he would put Chase before me. Because they were best friends, and still are, probably. Are you close…with them? Will it be hard for you, trying to be my friend and theirs?" _Will you desert me?_

"Nah, Ace and Remus grew away from me, partially because of different sex, and partially because you were the glue that held us together. After you left, I wasn't much to them…"

"No, Bella! That can't be true."

"It is, and you know it. Ace didn't have girl best friends then, except you, but you were his twin so you didn't count. Now Remus, on the other hand, you three grew up together and he is as much your brother as Ace is, and I know this is going to be hardest on him. Will you make him choose?"

Lily gasped in shock. "Never! I couldn't do that to him! I wouldn't do that to him."

"But Ace would, you know how stubborn he is."

"I used to," Lily sighed, wiping her face. "Am I all red and puffy?" she asked Bella, all seriousness.

"No, not really. Nothing the Charm queen can't fix…how about me?" Lily just laughed at her friend's red face. Bella grumbled, "How is it fair that you can have a crying jag and still look decent, I spill a few tears and look like a big red splotchy………balloon!"

"Oh come on, you don't look that bad. I can fix it."

"I do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"All right, you win."

"_I do?_" Bella cried despairingly. Lily waved her wand nonchalantly.

"_Now_ you don't. Are we ready to exit the bathroom? People may get ideas, especially you _without_ your underwear." Lily glanced at her friend's jeans as they walked out into the hallway. "Isn't it kind of breezy? I mean, thongs are so much more comfortable, if I do say so myself."

"I need air… Wait! Lily Evans, in a thong? I'm shocked! Well, what color?"

"Today? Black…"

"You have more than one?" Bella asked, amused at this rather different side of her friend, as she would have thought Lily would have dubbed such things frivolous and sexist.

"It's all I wear!"

"What's all you wear?" a dirty-blonde boy with shining brown eyes called curiously from just outside his compartment.

"_Thongs!_ I mean, were you listening to me at all?" Lily practically yelled, unaware that it wasn't Bella asking.

"Great Wizards." Cody's jaw dropped, and he stared at Lily like he was the happiest man alive. Lily turned slightly, and spotting him, blushed a pretty crimson.

"Er, hi there, I'm Lily Evans, the transfer from Beauxbatons."

"Likewise, Lily." Cody smirked slightly. "French, huh?" he purred at her.

"Yeah, sort of," Lily answered, somewhat uncomfortable. Bella, sensing this, spoke up.

"Oh please, Cody, not every girl from France is a French tart who lifts her skirt for any passersby, really."  


Cody reddened at this, and he began to stammer. "Bella! That is not what I 

meant. It's just, France is such a romantic country, and………"

"Get over it Romeo, she's out of your league."

"She looks about in second year, maybe third year like me. How is it that she's out of my league? I'm not _that_ bad looking, am I?" he asked in horror.  


Bella chuckled. "Modest much?"

"I was just asking!" 

"She may look young…"

"Young?" Lily sputtered indignantly. "Have you seen this great of a rack on any third or fourth year? Have you seen these hips? Have you seen this soon to be sixteen year old face?"

"Chill out, Lily, just smooth those ruffled feathers back in place. I was only making a point." Cody, meanwhile, was checking out Lily's aforementioned rack in a somewhat impolite stare. "_Cody!_ She has eyes, you dolt! What I was saying, before the 'Queen of Iraq' spoke up…she's a sixth year with me."

"I can tell," the boy muttered, even more embarrassed. "It's just the height, Lily, don't worry about it, once people actually look at you, and your…er…well, you know, they'll realize you're not so young as a less…uh-"

"Thanks, Cody, I really appreciate it." Lily glanced at Bella and both bit their lips, trying not to giggle at this poor third year. "Uh, so, Cody, what house are you in?"

"Gryffindor," the boy replied proudly. "What house do you want to be in?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," Lily replied. "I don't really know much about the houses."

"Well good luck, hope you're in Gryffindor," he called, going towards the food cart which had stopped at his compartment down the hall.

Again, thank you! Please review!

-Crys


	7. Riding With the Home Girls

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.

Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same and that was your doing. You lost your chance!"

****

To Reviewers: ALL three of you, because you are better than nothing and I love you dearly!

Amethyst- I know you reviewed chapter one, but you know, I didn't have time to mention you earlier with exams and all, and I just want you to know I appreciate your enthusiasm for my story, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Kelly- Thanks, I try!

Very Berry Banana- Thank you as well, you inspire me to be a better writer.

And now, chapter 7~

****

Riding With the Home Girls...er, Gryff Girls

"Come on, I want you to meet some of my dorm mates, the compartment's this way." Bella took off down the hall, Lily trailing behind her.

"What if they don't like me?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't they?" Bella replied. "I do."

"So? Remus used to like me-" here Bella rolled her blue eyes, muttering something along the lines of "Drama Queen". "-but his friends didn't. I mean…"

"Oh come off it. Just be you, Lils, and all will go well. I promise. Ah, here we are, Gryffindor 6th year girls compartment." Bella opened the door and strolled in, followed by a shy Lily who was twisting her loose, silky red curls, which was currently pulled back into a messy bun, between her fingers nervously.

"Hey Bella, where you been?" one girl called.

"Who's your friend?" another asked.

"This is it?" Lily asked, looking at the two girls in astonishment.

"Yeah, it was a real surprise when we only got three girls," the girl with a short bob of auburn hair and a plump, rounded build replied. "We are totally outnumbered. There are eight boys in our year and house."

"So who is this?" the raven headed girl asked again.

"Ashton, Molly, this is Lily, the transfer from Beauxbatons and my best friend. You know, the one who had to move to France right before our first year started."

"How could we not? You talk about her all the time. I'm Molly Thompson," Molly said, her blue eyes dancing.

"Molly?" Lily asked in disbelief. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"How'd you even know about me?" Molly asked in confusion.

"Yeah," Bella added, looking slightly hurt that Lily hadn't been looking all over for her.

"Oh, Bella Marie, don't give me that look, I was hunting for you too. Her brother mentioned her to me before I got on the train."

"It wasn't just a rumor then, that Drew was searching for Molly?" Ashton asked, waving her hand towards her face trying to create a mini breeze. "By the way, I'm Ashton Franco."

"Nice to meet you. And no, why would it be?" Lily asked, confused.

Bella answered. "Drew tends to stay away from Molly with such an obviousness that everyone would think she had the Plague."

"God, it's hot," Ashton mumbled, pulling up her shoulder length black hair into a ponytail, gray eyes sleepy. "So, Firetop? What house do you want to be in?"

"House?" Lily asked, frustrated. "Someone please explain that concept to me! What are these houses you people keep talking about?"

The other girls glanced at each other, before breaking out into giggles. Lily huffed in impatience, and waited for their little outburst to end. Bella, spotting her friend's rising temper, managed to stifle her chuckling. "You don't have houses at Beauxbatons?"

"No, we are separated into dorm rooms by age and sex. I roomed with 30 other girls in this _huge_ house. The school was separate. There were 14 dorms in all, the boys on one side of the lake, the girls on the other side."

"Whoa, you roomed with 30 girls?" Molly asked, head spinning.

"Damn!" Ashton exclaimed, eyes lighting in wonder. "I would have gone nuts!"

"Ash values her privacy," Molly explained, eyes twinkling.

Wrinkling her nose in half disgust, half interest, Bella demanded, "Did you have to take community showers?" Lily scowled and nodded, causing Molly and Bella to shriek in horror and amusement.

Ashton sniffed indignantly. "Do they really not shave their armpits?"

"And their legs too?" Molly added curiously.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, it's not that bad," she said. The other girls eyed her skeptically. "What? I didn't like it, but to each their own. It's not like you three shave every single day!"

"Um, actually," Ashton said, sounding appalled, " I do."

Molly grinned. "I only shave when I'm going to be showing some leg," she confessed. "I mean, come on, it's a pain in the ass! The pits are no problem, but legs take forever."

Bella nodded in agreement. "I do my legs about 3 times a week, and on special occasions. Pits are a daily thing."

Lily laughed in amazement. "Me too! It's insane that we can be so alike when we're so far apart." Bella and her exchanged high-fives, suppressing more laughter.

"Back to the community showers," Ashton said, trying to ignore their 'unladylike' antics. Interest shown in her eyes. "All 30 of you, together?!"

"Well, think about it. Some people shower in the mornings, some shower at night, some shower every other day or every third day, and then we go in fifteen minute shifts. The most people I've showered with at once was only fourteen, and that was before a big ball," Lily explained, trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. She didn't bother to mention that she'd showered at 4 a.m. every morning for the first year or so to keep from showering with the rest of her roommates. "So come on, dish about this place where you," she mock-gasped, "get to shower in _private_!" 

The girls spent the rest of the long train ride chatting, each one filling in bits and pieces of the mysterious Hogwarts Lily was about to attend. Lily was sure she wanted to be in Gryffindor with her newfound friends, and she couldn't wait to meet the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, whom all the girls seemed to love. She was still nervous, but happy for the first time in years.

When the conductor announced over the speaker system that they would reach Hogwarts in five minutes, Lily and Bella rushed to change into their school robes, wearing their jeans and tanks underneath.

Lily clambered off the train with her new friends. "What about my owl? And my trunk?" Lily wanted to know.

"It'll be taken care of. Do you know where you're supposed to go?" Bella called back. Lily mutely shook her head, watching horseless carriages pull up.

"Firs' years, firs' years this way," a huge giant of a man called. Lily shrugged, and walked over to him.

"Excuse me, sir," she said boldly, tugging slightly on his coat.

"You a firs' year miss?" he asked kindly, eyes crinkling in a smile hidden by his shaggy, tangled beard.

"Uh, not exactly. It's my first year at Hogwarts, but I'm going into my sixth year, and…"

"Ah, yer the transfer from Beauxbatons?"

"That's me." Lily beamed her relief.

"Professor McGonagall will escort you to the school herself. Just wait right here." Turning, he called for first years again.

Lily walked back over to Bella, who was standing outside a waiting coach that already held Ashton and Molly.

"Well?" they all three asked.

"I'm supposed to wait for a Professor McGonagall, I'll catch up to you later. Wish me luck?"

"Luck!" They all called in unison. After giving Lily one last hug, Bella ducked into the carriage and shut the door. It started off almost instantly, heading off in the same direction it had come.

"Bye Lily!" Bella called, waving.

"See you!" Lily called back. _I hope._

~!~

AND that, my friends, is the end of chapter 7! Sorry it took so long, life has just been so hectic and I just got back from a three week vacation where I had no internet access.........so I think you should be glad this is here.........hehe, or not, whatever floats your boat. So, the only thing left for you to do, is review....and wonder which house she'll get in, of course. I know where this is heading, but I am willing to let y'all vote: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin. Pick one in the review.

Adieu until later,

Crys


	8. Sirius Conversations

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.

Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same and that was your doing. You lost your chance!"

To Reviewers: The four of you have made my day!

Tinki-chan - Thanks! I will!

Hogwarts Quill - Thank you! I am adding on chapter 8 now! Lol, hope this chapter is worth the wait.

April - What's wrong with community showers? I don't think it was that far fetched! Since you reviewed, though, I forgive you! Besides, I have taken a community shower before…sort of. I was at camp, and they had stalls, but there weren't any curtains, so you could see anyone that used the cubicles across from you! It was…a life changing experience!

Phoenixia-Destiny-Past - Hope you made it to the second chapter! I hate it when ff.net does that overload thing right in the middle of a story! Good luck and I hope to hear from you!

And now, chapter 8~

****

Sirius Conversations

"Hey, gorgeous! Lily, isn't it?" she heard a voice call.

She turned to find a tall Sirius Black standing behind her.

"Oh, hello Sirius."

"What's this I hear about a black thong?" he asked, wiggling his dark eyebrows. Lily's eyes widened and her face colored in embarrassment. "Don't worry," he reassured her, "Cody didn't blab, I just happened to be down the hall. You prefer thongs, eh?"

"Well…uh, no point in denying it," she retorted weakly.

"Kinky...don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

"Kinky? Sirius, please, are you that unaware of your surroundings? I mean, at least half the girls in your year wear thongs, I'm sure."

"No they don't," he smirked knowingly. "At least, not on a _daily_ basis. Maybe to a ball, but daily…"

"You would know," she mumbled uncomfortably.

"Yeah, I would actually. Mind catching a coach with me? I'm alone at the moment, and am in need of your company."

She looked at his handsome face, his dark eyes twinkling alluringly. "I wish I could," she said sadly, meaning it. "It's just-"

"Ah! Miss Evans, I presume?" A young witch with her black hair pulled severely away from her wrinkleless face into a tight bun, a no nonsense attitude, and a glitter of humor in her eye approached her. It was no other than Professor McGonagall, whom Lily had heard about on the way up.

"Yes ma'am, that's me," Lily replied softly, looking at Sirius with apologies in her eyes.

"I'm Professor McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts. Well, then, now that I've found you, why don't we take Mr. Black up on his most chivalrous offer, and join him in a carriage? I daresay we must be getting to the school, I have the Sorting to do and such." Sirius' shock at the thought of riding with his professor made him freeze for a moment, but he quickly jumped into action. Approaching the nearest empty carriage and yanking open the door, Sirius swept into a low, comical bow, and held out his hand.

"Lily dearest, Minnie darling, your pumpkin awaits. May I help you in?"

The professor pulled a stern look, but Lily could see the twinkle of amusement light her eyes. "Don't be pert, Black, I'm not a doddering old muffin. I believe I can help myself in, thank you." In stating so, she climbed agilely into the horseless coach. Sirius stuck his tongue out in an ungentlemanly-like manner at her back, then turned to Lily.

"Can I help you, Little Flower, pearl of the dawn, fairest girl in all the land?" Some nearby girls scowled evilly at Lily in jealousy, while a few boys gawked at her openly. Unaware of the attention, Lily accepted Sirius' hand with faux-grace and replied playfully.

"Thank you ever so much, my charming Prince," she cooed, sending him a brilliant smile, causing his eyes to widen. "What would I ever do without you? How could I ever make it into a coach? I'm so lucky you happened upon to help me."

"I have no clue!" Sirius replied jovially, still grinning goofily. Lily sat primly in a seat, still playing, and crossed her legs with dainty propriety. Seeing his face, she began to giggle.

"Well, come on, silly, or we won't be there in time for next springs exams!" she called from her seat across from the Professor. Sirius climbed in quickly, snagging a seat next to Lily before collapsing in laughter.

"Wonderful performance, Lily, one of a kind!" Sirius praised, howling with mirth. "I thought it was the real thing, thought I was in the presence of a princess. And that million-watt smile of yours, you almost had me there. What a weapon. You wouldn't use it on me again, would you Lily? Because you know that's highly unfair."

"What ever are you talking about? Million-watt smile?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"Like you don't know. Oh you're a fox, Lily Evans, a real fox!"

Blushing, Lily turned to her new Professor. "Do you have any idea what he's rambling about, Professor?" she asked.

The woman was smiling slightly, and sighed when Lily asked her this. "Normally? No, not particularly. But right this moment, he's making some sense. You've got charm, Lily Evans." The words sounded approving, but Lily wasn't sure.

"Thank you. I think. Professor, while you maintain some level of communication, can you tell me what he meant about my smile? Is there- something wrong with it?"

"How can there ever be something wrong with a smile? No, child, yours is just so very stunning, I'm sure you had half the boys back there drooling and talking gibberish."

"No! A smile can't do that!" Lily sounded skeptical.

"Women have wiles men can only dream of," Sirius stated truthfully.

_Oh, my_, the Professor thought to herself. _This Lily is something, no doubt about that. She holds so much power; so much love for everything. So much brightness radiating from her. She's so full of life, overflowing with it…if only she can battle her bitterness, things may be okay for her. She just might win._

"Whatever are you talking about Sirius?" Lily asked.

"Oh, Great Godric preserve me. You have no idea what the smallest things can do to a man, do you?"

"Sirius, you're not making sense! Say it right out!" She grinned beatifically at him again, playfully slapping his shoulder as she had Remus' earlier, making his insides melt like butter. _Hogwarts is in a lot of trouble_, he thought absently._ If this girl has no idea what kind of effect she has on guys, Godric protect us if she ever figures it out! She'd be a terror, even if a lovely one. Those silken curls, that blinding smile, those curves, that sexy voice, those unearthly eyes…I could drown in her twin emerald pools. Wait! What am I saying? Snap out of it, Sirius, you're the player! Hmm…if she has this effect on _me_, of all people*, I can knowingly say this year is going to be fun._

"Never mind, Lily, only men truly understand the suffering I'm mentioning." Lily, unaware of her new friends thoughts, just snorted in an unladylike manner. The rest of the ride up to the school was indeed interesting. Sirius and Lily got to know each other better while Professor McGonagall sat silently.

By the time they'd reached Hogwarts, and were climbing out, Sirius felt like he'd known her for years, and she him. He had also reached a conclusion. He knew full and well that he was the most wanted guy in Hogwarts, excluding Drew Thompson, and he had no problem exulting his power, he sometimes reveled in the attention. He knew that Lily would have the same effect on the male population, only she was totally oblivious to her beauty and charms, which in Sirius' opinion would make her even more irresistible.

He'd also learned from Lily herself that she never wore make-up, she wasn't particularly concerned with the latest fashion, and wasn't interested in girly things such as painting her nails or gossip. She made guy friends better than girl friends, and took her schoolwork seriously. She liked pranks and hated the color pink. She was Sirius' most favorite girl he had ever met.

_I doubt there's more between Lily and I than the promise of a _very_ close friendship. I'm not going to wreck that prospect for a few dates, no matter how pretty she is._ That decided, Sirius felt much more comfortable around Lily, and after helping her hop down, he whispered, "Lils, no matter what house you're in, look me up. I want to personally give you a tour of the castle, warn you about all the bad staircases and rooms that disappear for days at a time. Friends?" he asked hopefully.

Most girls wanted to date him, but if they ever found out he was interested in what he considered as a more profound relationship- friendship- they went running in the other direction. For some reason, he had a hard time making friends stick, and it scared him. Sure, James, Remus, Peter, and even Ace hadn't given up on him yet, but maybe they would soon. He was waiting for them to bolt and never return.

Most other people seemed pretty shallow, in Sirius' opinion, interested in making 'acquaintances' with him because he was handsome, because he was rich, or because they needed him to do them 'favors'. It hurt, and made Sirius wary of the friends he chose. Lily, though, was different. He could sense it. He'd felt it on the train, even when she'd been fighting with Ace. Someone who could love so deeply, someone who could trust so deeply, then have that trust ripped away from them, still survive and still trust, was special. Someone who could be so accepting of a werewolf had to be accepting of others, right? She would be there, wouldn't she?

Tears came to Lily's eyes, and she smiled dazzlingly. "Sirius Black, never have I loved anyone more than I love you at this moment." Surprising him, she hugged him tightly, arms around his waist, her head resting lightly on his chest.

"Even if you were to be placed in Slytherin and made friends with Snape and Malfoy?"

"Even if I were an evil Slytherin and made friends with the devil himself. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"You have no idea how much it means to me," he replied, heart swelling with happiness.

Standing on tiptoes, she pulled his head down and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "Wish me all the luck you possess, Black, I'm about to wrestle a troll."

"A troll?" he asked, hand straying to where she'd kissed him.

"Yes, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall interrupted them. "A troll. A grouchy, old patched up Sorting Hat. Come this way Lily, Professor Dumbledore and I decided it would be better for you to be sorted in private."

"Okay then, be right there Professor." She turned to face Sirius. "So," she said hesitantly, "No matter what house, I can meet you tonight for a tour, right? If you're not tired, that is. I mean, tomorrow we'll have to get to class, and it will be busy, and knowing boys you would like to sleep in-" He covered her mouth.

"Tonight will be fine. At the doors of the Great Hall okay with you?"

She relaxed. "Yeah, perfect."

"Miss Evans! We haven't got all day, you know!" Professor McGonagall called sternly from the top of the stairs.

"Later Siri!" She ran into the school, red hair flying.

"Luck Lily," he called back. _Wonder what house she'll be in…I hope she's a Gryffindor. I guess I'd better find the guys. _Shaking his head, he went up the steps and into the school, heading for the noisy Great Hall.

~!~

I'm done! Yes! Now I need to go shower, for it is late, and I am late, but I just had to post this first!

Adieu my hearts.

Crys


	9. A Fourth Addition

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.

Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same and that was your doing. You lost your chance!"

Eh, okay, so it's 4:30 am and you're asking, why the hell is she up and POSTING of all things? Well, I am actually making a CD, so I decided to use the waiting period wisely and voilà! Chapter 9! So enjoy

To Reviewers: Wow, I feel so loved!!!

Phoenixia-Destiny-Past: please, don't die, if it means you'll live to review another chapter (lol) then I will update as fast as I can! Until next time! TTFN to you too!

kelly: I'm glad you remembered us! Um, yeah, me and the story…well mainly the story, you don't have to remember me…sorry to say, but Lily and Ace will not resolve their issues anytime soon…stay tuned, though, cause things might soon get sticky!

Manny: Thank you for taking the time to review! It means the world to me to know people are actually reading this.

Tinki-chan: Ah, yeah, for a bit, I considered a little L/S but you know, it's just too weird for me, I just don't see it…in fact, I am a well known RL/SB shipper, so if I focus on a relationship involving Sirius at all, Remus won't be too far away…

April: Nah, Sirius is more focused on getting her to be a FRIEND, so yeah, no crush there…although he might have affection for another character lurking in the shadows. Again, I'm a RL/SB shipper, so we'll see how it goes. Also, Ace and Lily, I'm thinking that's not going to be resolved soon. I like to torture my characters…it gives them substance. Life is never that easy. Baggage is heavy my friend, and everyone has it…oops, all you did was review and here I am going on and on about philosophical shit and the 'truth about the real world.' you poor soul, it's not even good philosophical shit! Forgive me please.

I give you, chapter 9!

****

The Fourth Addition

"Ah, Miss Evans, welcome to our school. Do you like it here so far?" a tall man with a long shining beard asked.

It took Lily a moment to reply. She was too busy staring around at the office she'd just entered, enraptured. "Uh, yes sir, it's absolutely breathtaking! The castle, the grounds…just _everything_! Is this a true phoenix? A real live one?"

Dumbledore chucked in amusement. "Why yes, dear, it is. He just had his burning day the other day. I daresay he looks glorious right now." He paused, piercing her with his periwinkle blue gaze, seeming to reach inside her and learn all of her secrets. She wriggled a bit, uncomfortable. "Ah, yes. We must have you Sorted. You do know about sorting and houses and such, right?"

"Of course! Some of your students briefed me on the way down. I was wondering if my sorting were to be a bit different, as I am not a first year. I heard something about trolls, and another about hats…"

"Our hat will do nicely. You will be sorted here, unless of course you'd rather go with the rest of our newcomers."

"Here's fine," she said quickly.

"Shy, are you? That's to be expected." His eyes lost a little of their twinkle. "I truly am sorry about your father. I didn't know him, but I'm sure he was a great man."

"No, he wasn't," she replied coldly. "He was silly and old-fashioned, and he ruined my life."

"I am well aware of the situation between you and your brother. If you ever need someone to talk to, or just to listen, my door is always open."

"Thank you, Professor," she responded obediently, although she had no intention of dropping her burdens on this kind man's shoulders. _Surely he has more important things to do._

"And now with the Sorting," Dumbledore said. He motioned to Professor McGonagall. "Minerva, the hat please."

Professor McGonagall lifted something from a shelf and dusted it off lightly. Holding it delicately, she crossed over to Lily and held it out to her.

"So I just put it on?" Lily asked tentatively. Professor McGonagall nodded. "Here goes," Lily muttered. Closing her eyes, she pulled on the old sorcerer's hat. Straining her ear, Lily was sure she heard a faint voice coming from the hat. _From the hat?!_

What's this? A little bit of variety this year, eh? This is going to be tricky. Ah, another Evans, I see. Brilliant mind, yes, yes, this one is eager to learn. Strength and lots of it, internal and external. Quick thinker, I see, and loyal to those you trust. Not much of a believer in others, but that will come in time. There is a boldness here I like. You're straightforward and headstrong, with a temper to match your hair. But there is individuality here, and a need to express it. Also a need for close friendships, oh my, poor child has been alone for years now. 

I have not!

Yes, you have. No companionship. No one to love you. This leaves a darkness, great and consuming. Could bring your downfall. Hmmm…I think Gryffindor would be right for you, although Ravenclaw does come to mind.

Yes, Gryffindor. Please!

**Forget Ravenclaw, I'm sure you truly belong in GRYFFINDOR.**

After this long speech, the hat fell silent. Lily slowly plucked it off her head, blinking. To her right was Professor McGonagall, who seemed happy with the outcome, and Dumbledore was seated in front of her, smiling lightheartedly. "Well, Miss Evans, it seems a Gryffindor you've become. If I recall correctly, you'll be the well needed fourth addition to the 6th year girls." Lily nodded, still slightly in shock. "Well, would you like to just head on down to dinner, we're about to sort the first years. We could introduce you during that time-"

"No, that's okay, Professor Dumbledore, sir. I really would just like to go down to dinner, and watch the first years be sorted."

"Okay, then." Lily jumped out of her chair, ready to leave. "Would you mind escorting me down? I am in need of one and I don't believe you know exactly where you're going." He winked kindly at her. Lily turned slightly red at the thought of her heading off and getting lost.

"Sure Professor, I'd appreciate that."

"Well then, Minerva, grab the stool and the hat. We have some first years to attend to." Hooking Lily's arm elegantly in his, he exited his office, heading down the long, curling staircase. They took so many twists and turns Lily was sure she would have never found her way alone, and all the while Dumbledore was chattering happily about lemon drops. He stopped in front of two great doors. "Here we are, m'dear. If you don't mind, I have another entrance I'm supposed to use. It'll be the table on your far right. Enjoy!" With that, he seemed to float off, and disappeared around another corner.

Lily could here loud buzzing coming from inside the Great Hall. Taking a deep breath, she gave herself a last minute pep talk. _It's okay, you'll be fine, you can do this. OPEN THAT DOOR._ And she did. After stepping into the Hall, the door banging behind her, Lily found herself the center of attention. Gulping nervously, she glanced around the room, taking in her surroundings. The Great Hall was glorious. Nothing like she'd imagined. There were four long tables running parallel to each other across the brunt of the Hall. Then, in the front, there was a shorter table running perpendicular to all the others. This one was slightly raised, and Lily recognized it as the teacher's table. Then she looked up. _Oh my god!_ she thought ecstatically, _it's the sky. Oh, it's beautiful!_ Just then she heard her name called.

"Lily!" Bella was waving frantically at her from a table on her far right, along with a grinning Molly and Ashton. Grinning as relief washed through her, Lily slowly made her way to her friends. "Are you in?" Bella asked simply, almost trembling with excitement.

"Ladies," Lily announced proudly. "Meet your fourth dorm mate!" She was flushed with excitement and watched as the news registered on each of their faces, ignoring the rest of the room. Bella began squealing and jumping up and down. "Bella, calm down and take a seat, I'm sure they're about to start." Bella obeyed reluctantly, still grinning, while making room for Lily.

Molly glanced around with authority. "Back to your own business," she shouted at the hall, and slowly the buzz picked up again, this time everyone was discussing the same thing…person. Lily was the basis of every conversation in the room, but soon after Dumbledore entered himself.

"Students, students, quiet down. The Sorting is about to commence and I want your full attention. Minerva, when you're ready." McGonagall set a stool on the dais, and then set the hat on the stool. She left and came back with a bunch of meek first years trailing her.

Shuffling a few papers, she addressed the Hall. "When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said. "Anderson, Bill!"

A mousy haired boy stepped forward, short and covered with freckles. He walked up to the stool and pulled on the hat. After a moment or two, the hat called out—

"HUFFLEPUFF!" Applause broke out for the boy at the Hufflepuff table and he went to sit down.

"Ballinger, Belinda." And so it went, all the way through the last kid. Lily had, at first, paid a great deal of attention to the sorting, but as it went on she was so deep in thought she barely remembered to clap. When the sorting finally came to an end, Dumbledore's voice pulled her back to the present.

"Welcome!" he called. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin, please note there will be more important notices afterwards. Noted? Good! Everyone dig in!" Suddenly, with a sweep of his arms, the tables were filled with so much food Lily could only gawk. Dinner had never been like this at Beauxbatons.

"Hurry up, Lils, or there won't be any food left," Bella said, her mouth full. This brought Lily out of her reverie, and she began to fill her plate.

It was the best dinner she had ever had. She was so full by the time desert appeared that she didn't want any.

As soon as everyone seemed filled to the brim, Dumbledore stood, the food vanishing. "Hey!" a familiar voice howled. Lily looked up and down the table and spotted none other than Sirius Black. She shook her head, grinning. "Sir, I wasn't quite finished with my raspberry tripe, sir!"

Winking, Dumbledore grinned. "Well, Mr. Black, we can't have you going without your tripe, now can we?" With a pop, the half-finished tripe reappeared and, after a muffled thanks, Sirius began to eat again. "Anyone else?" Dumbledore asked. "Good. Now, little notices. First years, please note that the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students unless supervised by a responsible adult." The boy introduced as James earlier opened his mouth. "And before you ask Mr. Potter, no, prefects are not considered a responsible adult." Sirius opened his mouth too. "Neither is Remus Lupin, no matter how mature he is, Mr. Black." Both boys' faces fell.

"Also, Mr. Filch, the Hogwarts caretaker, has asked me to remind all students that no magic is to be used in the corridors. Dungbombs and other such affiliations bought at places like Zonko's in Hogsmeade are also not allowed. If anyone would like a complete list of all banned items, please see either your Head of House or Mr. Filch himself."

"Quidditch trials will be held a little later than usual this year, in the third week of this term. All interested in joining house teams contact Madam Hooch."

"I would also like to mention a new student here at Hogwarts and I am positive you will all make her feel welcome. Lily Evans is a transfer from Beauxbatons, one of the many prominent magical schools in France, and will be joining our 6th year Gryffindor girls. If she seems lost, please point her in the right direction."

"And now, lets finish our meal with the school song. Pick any tune you want and away we go!" With a flick of his wand, flowing silver ribbon shot out forming letters that soon formed lines of the Hogwarts school song. Lily picked one of her favorite tunes and sung along with the rest. When the last person had finished, Dumbledore clapped his hands. "Ah, the beautiful sound of music. And now, scamper off to bed young grasshoppers, for school begins early tomorrow. Prefects, if you would please guide the first years to your common room, and spread the passwords around to your housemates. Goodnight dear children!"

Lily got up slowly, and watched as other students filed out. "Lils, are you coming?" Bella asked sleepily, stretching.

"Actually, I promised to meet Sirius after dinner. He wanted to show me around a bit, so I won't be completely lost tomorrow. I'll see you later, alright?"

"Okay," Bella, Molly and Ashton coursed, heading out.

~!~

Thanks! More soon. Reviews as wonderful as cat naps in 4th period History,

Crys


	10. A Tour and More Questions

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.

Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same and that was your doing. You lost your chance!"

****

Hey y'all! I am so sorry, but with school starting up and everything I didn't have any time to compose a new chappie, but I made time cause I love all of you! So, on to reviewers…

Cataclysmic- hello dearest, thanks for reviewing…hmm, suicidal lily…might be in my plans, you never know.

April- more about Lily's past…I'll try!

LillixRox'09- Don't cry and get sick! I updated! See see!

SilverWolf7007- you write the most awesome fics! (Harry, Seamus, and the Master Plan, go read it y'all!) I'm honored you've reviewed me!

And now, Chapter 10~

A Tour and More Questions

"Guess who?" Warm, large hands wrapped themselves lightly over Lily's eyes.

"Bob," Lily said decidedly, trying not to giggle.

"Not Bob," the voice replied playfully.

"Joe then?"

"Not Joe…one more try!"

"Could it be…Sirius?"

"How'd you guess?" he asked, popping out from behind her.

"Just luck," she said, rolling her eyes in amusement.

"Ready for that tour, then? I got special permission from McGonagall to show you around after hours. That's good, because I didn't want to have to borrow James' cloak when we're on such bad terms."

"Oh, the boy I met earlier. Well what's wrong with you, then?"

"Not much, he acted like an ass earlier about something, and I didn't like it. So I told him he'd been an ass and he needed to readjust his attitude. And he didn't like that. So now, we're not technically speaking. It's like World War III, only dumber, cause it's James and Peter verses Remus and me."

"You guys seemed to be getting along earlier," Lily stated uncomfortably. She had a feeling the group's rift was her fault.

Sirius shrugged. "Things happen," he mumbled. "Don't sweat it."

"If you say so," Lily replied.

They spent three blissful hours exploring the huge Hogwarts castle and didn't even get halfway done. Lily's feet ached, but it was a happy kind of ache, and she didn't really mind.

"At least I can find all my classes," she said cheerfully.

"Yeah, when you're not being escorted by half the bloody Hogwarts population," Sirius grumbled, slinging his arm around her affectionately. Lily closed her eyes momentarily at the sheer sweetness and familiarity of the gesture, wondering if he was just so tired he didn't really notice his arm around her. Deciding to broad about it later, she gave in to her tired body and leaned against her new friend, practically asleep on her feet.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, eyes acquiring a slightly dangerous glint.

"I like this," he whined, sounding like a five year old begging for his favorite candy. "I don't want to share you tomorrow!" She gave him a look. "Okay- maybe with Remus, and Bella, Molly, and Ashton, but no one else!"  


"Oh, Siri, you'll always be my first," she promised sweetly, touched that he wanted her all to himself.

"Your first what?" he asked cautiously.

"My first male best friend," she replied.

His face lit up. "Really? I get such a high status?" Then it fell a little. "But wait…wasn't Remus your _first_ best guy friend?"

"No, I've known him since before I can remember, he's a brother. As much as I love him, it's not like I had a choice. He'd always been there, like-" Here Lily gulped uncomfortably, but continued anyway. "Like Ace." She tilted her head, resting it on his chest. "I have a strong feeling you'll make that status too; he just has a 15 year head start."

"I'm…honored you think so highly of me," Sirius smiled happily; then, as if recalling something, he pursed his lips in thought. "Can I ask you a question?"  


"Of course, Sirius, questions aren't illegal you know."

"Do you think I'm trustworthy? Do you believe in me?"

"How can you ask me such things? I've only known you a few hours-" Sirius bowed his head sadly. "-and I have never trusted anyone more. Not in years, anyway. And I'll always believe in you. If you told me the sky was purple, I'd believe it." She grinned up at him, her face dimpling prettily.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"_Yes._"

"Can I ask you one more question?"

"Sure…go for it."

"It's kind of personal…"

"Just ask me!"

"Okay, okay…" he paused for so long with such an unreadable look on his face that Lily was getting apprehensive. _What is he going to ask?_ "What- what color thong are you wearing tomorrow?"

Lily blinked. Not what she'd been expecting. "Excuse me?"

Sirius blushed endearingly and cleared his throat. "What color thong are you wearing tomorrow?"

"Why?" Lily asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Well-" he paused again. "I just want to have a piece of you to myself tomorrow…and I'm the only one who'll know, so it'll make me special somehow…please?" he begged, giving her a cute puppy face.

Lily laughed. "That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Of course I'll tell you. Tell anyone else, though, and I'll never tell you again!"

"Wha-? You mean, you'll tell me every night? Just so I can know that I'm the only one that knows?" He sounded shocked.

"Why not? I can trust you with anything. This is no different. Are you ready?" She motioned for him to lean in. "Red!"

"Red?" he asked, grinning also.

She nodded. "Red. It's the same exact color as my hair…it's my lucky pair! I might need them. I think I'll wear the matching bra, too. What do you think Siri?"

"Definitely wear the matching bra," he agreed. "It'll add to your spice." She laughed loudly as they approached the common room. "Your feminine dorms are to the right of the entrance. Yours will be the sixth door on the left, and your trunk will be at the foot of your bed. The password to the common room is Sugar Quills and Dungbombs…" The portrait swung open. "And Lily?"

She turned, stifling a yawn. "Huh?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" she asked, confused.

"For being here, and for being you." He turned to the right, heading up a set of staircases.

Glowing with happiness, Lily called out, "Goodnight Siri!"

"Goodnight Red!" Her grin widened. She didn't think she'd felt this happy ever. He'd given her a nickname. A personal, but inconspicuous nickname. Everyone would guess it was for her hair and leave it at that, but they two would know, would share the special secret of her lucky red thong.

~!~

  
Alright, a little short, but hey, I'm doing the best I can… will try to post soon! Love you all,

Crys


	11. Sirius Encounters the Lucky Red Thong, A...

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.

Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same and that was your doing. You lost your chance!"

****

To Reviewers:

SilverWolf7007- hey honey, glad to hear from you again! You can try to bribe me to write faster, but what I need is more time…try Father Time, maybe he'll take your money and give me a week off from school…I sure could use the extra time. Here's more on the Lucky Red Thong, enjoy bebe!

mad about jp- hello darling, thank you for reviewing my fic! Sorry, this chap doesn't have much chase-lils, you'll have to be patient for that! :)

And ta-dah! I present, Chapter 11:

****

Sirius Encounters the Lucky Red Thong, Among Other Things

Lily was not a morning person but for some reason, on this first day, morning couldn't come quickly enough. She slept soundly after her bout with Sirius, only to awaken at 6:50 in the morning. Glancing at her clock, she groaned. _It's only 6:50? I don't have to be down for breakfast until 8:00, at the earliest!_ Glancing around at the other sleeping girls, she grinned. _At least I get a hop on the shower._ Jumping up, she crossed silently to the bathroom. Picking out lavender colored towels with 'Lily' sewn into them, she started the bathwater. While it was heating up, she went to her trunk and pulled out one of her black school robes, a worn, faded pair of blue jeans, and a cotton, hunter green t-shirt , all in the name of comfort. Remembering her conversation with Sirius, she also pulled out her lucky red thong and her bra. Turning, she stumbled into the bathroom, clothes dangling off her arm, greeted by steam. The water was hot and welcoming, caressing her body like an old friend. Her shampoo smelled strongly of cinnamon and rosemary, a unique scent that stuck to her all day long.

After she finished dressing, she began the long task of brushing out her hair. As usual she decided to let it air dry, as she normally ended up pulling it back anyway later on in the day. This, however, was a very long process because her hair was so long and dratted thick with curls, and it wasn't until the other girls were up and moving that it was dry. Slipping on her old black Vans, fiery red curls splashing down her back, she was soon ready. "I'm heading down to breakfast. Any of you want to come?"

"I'm not quite finished!" Molly called from the curling iron in the bathroom.

"What do I wear?" Ashton shrieked.

"You say that every year Ashton, and every year you look fine," Molly shouted back from the bathroom.

Shaking her head, Lily looked for Bella. _Where is she in all this? She can't still be asleep?_ Evidently she could, because she was.

"Bella!" Lily exclaimed. "Get your butt in gear. Move it!" Lily was standing over the sleeping girl, shaking her gently.

"Umkay, okay, I'm 'wake," she mumbled, and then rolled over.

"Arabella Figg, wakey, wakey!" Lily prodded.

"I'll get her, Lils," Molly said. "You can go ahead."

"If you're sure…" Lily skipped out of the room, not awaiting Molly's reply, ready to continue her explorations. She was about to duck out of the portrait hole when—

"Lily! I'm glad I caught you." Lily turned to face none other than Remus.

"Good morning, Remus. Is something wrong?" 

"I just wanted to congratulate you on becoming a Gryffindor and welcome you to our house. I wanted to last night but I was held up…"

Lily waved off his excuses. "Ream, it's okay, really, I understand. There's no reason for you to stir things up with Chase. It's fine. I don't want you to forfeit your friendship with him just for me. Thanks, by the way, for welcoming me to the House, I appreciate it. It's like having your blessing. And I _do_ love you. However, such a greeting as you just gave me makes me want to throttle you! How about another, more appropriate one?" She joked, trying to lighten the do-or-die air surrounding her childhood friend.

Sirius, who came bounding down the boy's stairwell with noisy thuds and thumps, cut her off. "Ah, top of the morrow to you, Remmie-chan." He bounced up to Lily. "Red! I was hoping I'd run into you.

"Don't you mean run _over_ me, like you did on the train yesterday?" she teased, her mood lightening noticeably. 

He mock pouted. "I already said I was sorry! About twenty times, if I remember correctly. Heading down to breakfast, are we? May I join you?"

"_That's_ how friends greet each other." Lily smiled softly at Remus and turned, giving Sirius her total attention. "I was, actually. Shall we go? I have something I need to show you." She winked.

"Really?" Sirius glanced between Remus and Lily, then shrugged. "I think we shall. Later Moony!"

"Bye Remus," Lily said, a feeling of foreboding flooding her. This was how it was going to be? Her conversations with Remus were to be brief, stilted, and impersonal? Disappointment and hurt filled her, but she pushed it down, linking arms with Sirius. The two strolled over to the portrait hole and walked slowly down to breakfast. "What did you want to show me?" he asked, beaming.

Smirking, she ushered him into a corner and pulled two identical thin straps composing the sides of the thong up high on her hips, so that they stuck out of her hip-hugger jeans but didn't quite disappear beneath her slightly cropped t-shirt. Sirius' grin widened and he began to laugh uncontrollably. "Merlin's beard, Red, you're just too much!"

Catching his drift, she began singing a rather racy song she'd overheard at one of the French nightclubs she'd been dragged to last year. Smiling silkily, she nudged her shirt over slightly so a thin red bra strap showed attractively on her slender shoulder. She shook her hips suggestively and grabbing Sirius' hands, ran them through the tips of her silky curls, barely containing her giggles. With a sultry air, she slid her hands up his chest and into his hair, distinctly mussing it and making it splay out in all directions. Then she leaned in so close her lips almost touched his and she whispered, "Was it good for you?"

Sirius just laughed harder. "Damn, Red, where'd you learn such a routine? I must admit, if I were into you, I'd be horribly turned on."

"I learned that little number from a few well-known light skirts who swanked about 'Batons. If I'd finished it up, I'd still have your devilishly handsome self pressed up against that wall." She licked her lips provocatively.

"Devilishly handsome? Am I really?"

"Oh yes, a fine specimen of a man. Don't pretend to not know it, either. I know boys…always flexing in the mirror. You men are all a bunch of beauty queens, always primping in mirrors. Poor things…"

"Who? Us beauty queens, or the mirrors?"

"Mirrors. So, now that you've 'met' my lucky red thong and 'spicy' red bra, I suggest we continue down to breakfast. You might be sorely missed."

"What a friendly encounter that was indeed. Do I get to do this every morning?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry mate, this was a once in a blue moon affair." She winked roguishly.

"I feel the love. Do you play Quidditch, Red?" And off they went on an intense discussion about their favorite wizarding sport, carrying it all the way through breakfast, barely noticing when the girls joined them.

*~*

The weeks passed quickly, and soon they were nearing the end of the month October. Lily was successful in all of her classes, except for Transfiguration, which she was absolutely horrible at. She especially loved Charms, where she was Flitwick's top student.

Lily quickly fell into the comfortable Hogwarts routine, and made a few close friends, namely Sirius, Bella, and Molly. Ashton was also a pretty good friend, but she seemed to have boys on the brain all the time, something Lily found irritating. Remus, even if he was a little distant and never hung out with her specifically, was also her friend. At least he tried. She'd learned to live with it.

Lily and Bella soon started pulling pranks right and left. They were talented and discreet, and although they had no recognition for what they did, they never got in trouble with McGonagall either. Lily and Sirius also pulled pranks here and there, never getting caught thanks to Lily; but then Sirius and the rest of the Marauders would pull something and ended up serving detention incessantly.

Despite their antics, Lily was aware of the tension between the other Marauders and Sirius, and she knew it was her fault. She was trying to subtly get him to hang around her less and them more, but it didn't seem to be working. Still, things were bearable for once, to say the least, and Lily was closer to happiness than she'd ever been while in France.

One morning, Sirius was sitting with her, Bella, Molly, and Ashton at breakfast as he did every other day, when he looked up distractedly. "Where are the Marauders?" he asked them. Bella pointed to the other end of the table, where Ace was staring at his plate, Remus was pushing his food around with a fork, Peter was stuffing himself and James- James wasn't there. "Where's James?" he asked. Ashton shrugged, listening to Molly, who was a prefect, argue with a second year about his biting goblet (someone had cursed it and he was trying to get a new one). "Excuse me," he mumbled.

"Sirius, are you okay?" Lily asked, full of concern.

"Yeah, Red, no worries…I got to go talk to them. I'll see you in class, okay?"

"Of course," Lily said, nodding.

He rushed over to the other end of the table. "Hey guys. Where's James at?"

"Why do you care, traitor?" Ace asked coldly as Peter glared at him. They'd been treating him like this for the past two months. Sirius looked pleadingly at Remus, begging him to answer. Remus had also seemed a bit upset lately. Not angry with Sirius, though, to his relief, but just upset in general.

Looking up, Remus sighed. "I think he's still in the dorm. You giving him the shoulder for Lily-" Remus flicked his gaze nervously at Ace. "-is really bothering him, I think. I don't know."

"I'll go talk to him." Getting up, Sirius strode out of the hall. Lily, who had been watching him the whole time, excused herself and went after him.

"Hey Siri! Sirius? Wait up!" She was running to catch up with his long strides. He seemed to slow down a bit, but he didn't stop and he didn't turn around. It wasn't until they were far from the Great Hall that she caught up with him. "Are you sure you're okay?" she panted, still jogging to keep up.

"I'm fine. I just need to speak with James. Go back to your breakfast Red."

"But Sirius…I want to come with you. I know he hasn't exactly taken to me, but I want to help you…"

"It's not that simple, Lily! And…he's just…James hasn't been himself. He doesn't usually behave this way. I don't know. Just go back and finish eating. I don't need you." _I wish I didn't need you_, he thought.

Lily stopped moving, froze in place. Sirius finally stopped, realizing what he'd said and how it sounded. He looked behind him at the devastated girl, his best friend in the entire world next to James, and he nearly fell to his knees at the pain in her eyes. "Red, that didn't come out the way it was supposed to-"

"No, Sirius, really, I can assure you it came out perfectly," she replied in a pained voice, closing her eyes momentarily. "Perfectly clear. I'd best get back." Turning, she fled, not heading back to the Great Hall, Sirius noted, but in the other direction.

Shit! Sirius thought, smacking himself in the head. _Flying fuck! What the hell was I thinking? Go after her! Damn you, move! But Prongs…bloody hell!_

Mind still undecided, Sirius's legs, of their own accord, began walking towards the common room again. Storming into Gryffindor Tower, he practically killed himself as he flew up to the boy's dormitories. "James! Where the hell are you?" Stepping into their dorm, he checked all the beds. All were made up and empty. Sirius stopped to listen. _There! The water's running._ Stepping into the bathroom, he banged on the glass door of the shower, making James jump. Seeing Sirius, James glared and shut the water off violently.

"Sirius! What the hell are you doing in here?" James grabbed at the offered towel and quickly wrapped it around his waist.

"Oh, stop being a homophobe, I'm not checking you out. I was just…" _Worried. Upset. Afraid._ He stopped, unsure of what to say. "Why didn't you come down to breakfast?"

"I slept in," James retorted vehemently.

"Are you angry with me?"

"Is Dumbledore's hair silver?" the boy snapped, groping for a comb while glaring looks of death at Sirius.

"So what did I do?"

"It's about time you've noticed Sirius! Where have you been these past two months? I almost don't see you anymore, we never pull pranks like we used to- you ditched us for some new girl." It was an accusation, and Sirius was sure James meant 'me' instead of 'us'. "Did you forget the bonds of friendship to go sniffing around some French girl?"

"Don't speak of what you don't know! How dare you say such a thing about Lily! How fucking dare you? You don't even know her."

"And neither did you two months ago!"

"Your point?"

"I- you-" James seemed to be losing steam. He closed his eyes. "I thought we meant more to you than some girl."

"James, I feel drawn to her, like she needs me like I need her. I've been waiting forever for this kind of relationship."

"So you've already gotten her to date you?" James asked dangerously.

"Not that kind of relationship! Friendship James! She trusts me, just lets me be me, doesn't care if I'm rich, or handsome, or an 'immature prankster'. We're just there, and we connect, and it's like we understand each other completely…"

"Are you saying I-"

"You can't compare the two of you, James, she has her qualities, and you have yours. You're nothing alike, and very alike all at once. I like the way she makes me feel. Special. Like I was the most important person to her in the entire world. It felt good. She had so much confidence in me, confidence no one else but you has- or had. You…you don't need me like she does, though, you have other people and sometimes I feel like I will end up just another face in the crowd with you…"

"But you're my best friend! Face in the crowd my ass! You're probably the only friend she has in the world," James muttered, faltering a little. "That'd make you pretty damn important. How can I compete with that?"

"You never had to. But I guess now you don't have to worry about that, not anymore. Are you happy, James? Are you satisfied? We're not friends anymore! I was so worried about _you_, so concerned about _you_, I just bulldozed right over her feelings and said something I didn't mean. She ran off. And I didn't go after her to try to fix things. Oh no, I just turned my back and came up to check on you, James! So let me ask, because I just ruined one of the best things in my life for _you_, so I want to be sure _you're_ happy! Are you? Are you pleased?" Sirius' face was contorted in fury and pain. _ Why do I let them affect me like this? Friends, who needs 'em? I do._

"No," James said quietly. "I hate seeing you so unhappy, it hurts me. I thought she was replacing me…I thought maybe when we argued, that was the end. I- Sirius, you're a brother to me. I can't lose you!"  


"You'll never lose me, James, you are my brother, my only family technically," Sirius said, sighing sadly. "I'm sorry James, about how I've been acting. And I'm sorry I called you a jackass. I didn't mean it, it was the heat of the moment kind of thing."

James looked at him seriously. "I know. Sirius, why don't you go after her? If you hurry, cause classes start in thirty minutes, you'll still have time…I have to get dressed and I'll follow you down." He smiled weakly at his best friend.

"Sure. Hurry yourself! Later James!" So saying, Sirius rushed out of their bathroom, down the stairs, and out of the portrait. Running, he turned in the direction Lily had gone and spotted Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. _Worth a shot,_ he thought.

*~*

Hmm…a sorta halfway cliff, eh? I'm on a roll with those tonight! Anyways, thanks again to my two reviewers! If you hadn't reviewed, I'd think nobody read this crap! Thanks so much! I will try to update before three weeks pass, but I can't promise anything!

Love,

  
Crys


	12. Bitter Tidings

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.

Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same and that was your doing. You lost your chance!"

****

Sorry I haven't been able to update recently, but I just got a job and plus school, I have no time for anything anymore. Plus, I have to take defensive driving. Damn me for speeding in the neighborhood! Anyways, I don't have time to thank my reviewers individually, so here we go: kudos to redtiger, SilverWolf7007, Nadia Greenleaf, cookiedough, and mary for reviewing chapter eleven! I enjoyed all of your reviews, and am thrilled you liked the latest installment.

****

Now…

Chapter 12: Bitter Tidings

I thought he was different than Ace. He seemed so sincere, so true to me, but it was all a show, all a façade, to amuse him. I hurt. I never want to hurt like this ever again. I should just do it. Lily glanced around the dingy bathroom in a daze, looking for something sharp. There was nothing though, and nothing for Lily to vent her hurt and rage on. "Here's to you, Sirius Black!" So saying, she slammed her balled fist into the mirror in front of her, the impact so great that the mirror broke, shards flying in all directions. She retracted her fist slowly, knuckles cut and bleeding, staring at them in wonder._ Do it!_ A voice called again. Reaching down, Lily slowly grasped a large, jagged shard of mirror, and stared at her pale reflection in it. _Don't think, just do it. It will all be over. All the pain, the sadness, the loneliness. Do it. Living isn't worth it. You're not worth it. Do it._ She placed the sharp edge of the mirror firmly next to her skin, pressing down slowly until blood sprung from her veins in her right wrist. Satisfied, not feeling any more pain, she switched the shard to her right hand, and proceeded to slice her other wrist.

*~*

As Sirius reached for the knob of the door, he felt a strong surge of wrongness. He pulled his hand back as if burned, surprised. _What is wrong with you, you great prat? A door isn't so formidable. Open the bloody thing._

"Padfoot?" a voice asked. Jumping Sirius whirled to find James standing behind him. "You are aware that is a girls bathroom?" his friend asked softly, no teasing light in his baritone. Sirius nodded, reaching for the handle again. "Then why-"

"Lily might be in there."

"Oh. Well, I'll wait for you both here. I want to say a few things to the lovely Lily myself." Sirius still hesitated. "What's wrong, Padfoot?"

"I just…the door feels wrong somehow. I don't know." Shaking the feeling off, Sirius grasped the handle firmly and without looking back, he stepped into the secluded bathroom, the door banging behind him. The ugly smell of blood attacked Sirius' senses as well as the mingled scent of cinnamon and rosemary. "Lily's been here," he whispered.

He stepped farther into the bathroom and turned the corner, which separated the powder room from the actual bathroom. He cried out at what he saw. "Oh my God! Red! Oh Lily, what have you done?!" He just stood there in astonishment, taking in the scene around him. The floor was covered with shards of a broken mirror, and fresh blood. Lying crumpled in the corner was Lily, dripping blood and fading fast.

She barely looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Siri, I'm so sorry." She seemed almost delirious. _She's apologizing?_ "I love you. Tell Bells…tell her it's not her fault. Tell her I love her." Sirius watched as her sad gaze changed to an accusing one, and she whispered in a broken voice, "How could you? How could you?" She slipped into unconsciousness then, making Sirius panic, heart wrenching in his chest. _Maybe she's lost too much blood already- is she dead? Holy fuck!_ He leapt into action, grabbing at the closest bloody wrist and checking for a pulse. There was a faint one, barely beating. "Prongs! Prongs! Get your ass in here! Oh god, Red, don't die on me, please baby, don't die. Prongs!" He was shouting at the top of his lungs, pulling the bloody Lily into his arms and cradling her tightly.

*~*

James jumped at Sirius' panicked shouts. He'd never heard Padfoot sound so frightened in his life. He lunged at the door and yanked it open, the smell of blood greeting him as it had Sirius. He raced into the room, finding Sirius on the floor surrounded by blood and for a moment, James thought Sirius himself was bleeding, so soaked in crimson was he. And then he saw the crumpled body Sirius had clamped in his arms.

Sirius was still screaming his head off. "-don't die on me, please baby, don't die. Prongs!"

"Oh my god," James shouted, the words registering in his mind. "Sirius, oh god!"

"Do something!" Sirius screeched back, crying uncontrollably. "Help me James! Please, James, you have to do something! I can't lose her! Oh it's all my fault, it's all my fault!" James, always a quick thinker, ripped his shirt off and flung it at Sirius.

"Here, try to clot the blood! I'll get Dumbledore!" James dashed out of the room, transforming into a stag. _Where is Dumbledore? Think! Think! At breakfast!_ Quickly he dashed off, reaching the Great Hall in record time. Transforming quickly, he rushed into the room, and all eyes turned to him. He kept going, paying them no mind, running for the Head Table.

McGonagall stood up tight-faced. She was one angry witch. "Mr. Potter, what do you think you're doing? Where is your shirt?!" James ignored her completely, brushing past her.

"Professor Dumbledore! You have to come quick, Sirius and I- then Lily- and Sirius came up to the tower- Moaning Myrtle's bathroom- found Lily- blood all over," he said brokenly, struggling against tossing up the empty contents of his stomach.

"James, what are you saying? Calm down. Tell me what's wrong." Dumbledore was already out of his chair, ushering James back out of the Great Hall the way he had come. They were closely followed by Professor McGonagall, who looked worried and slightly put out.

"Lily Evans, in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom…I don't know what happened. There was blood everywhere. Sirius is with her now." McGonagall's jaw dropped, but Dumbledore just looked sad and grim.

"Let's go," he said quietly, rushing down the hallway in pursuit of James, who was leading the way. They quickly reached the bathroom and crashed into the room. Sirius was still cradling Lily, tears coursing silently down his face; James' shirt was soaked with blood, and he was rocking the unconscious Lily in his arms protectively and tenderly.

He looked up at them wildly as they came in. "Help her Professor, please! It's all my fault, she can't die- I have to apologize! I have to tell her I love her!"

"I won't let her go willingly, Mr. Black. James, take him down to the hospital wing. Get him to calm down. I need to do some things for Lily before we can transport her down there. Tell Madam Pomfrey we're coming. Minerva, if you would assist me please," he said, rolling up his sleeves.

James nodded numbly, and prying Sirius away from Lily, he dragged him out of the bathroom and towards the hospital wing. Guilt flooded James as he looked at his broken friend, and he tried to comfort him as they walked. "Sirius, it'll be okay. Dumbledore is a powerful man, he'll save her. He's just got to. It's not your fault."

Sirius looked at him as if he were crazy. "It is," he whispered. "You don't know what I said to her, how I said it, like she didn't matter to me. Will he save her? I mean, all that blood, everywhere…everywhere." The tears were still falling unashamedly, and James was in awe of his friend. _Who knew Sirius was so deep? So caring?_ The answer came as a shock as James remembered their earlier conversation. _Lily had._

"Sirius, Lily did this to herself. It's not your fault," James tried again, knowing if Lily died she would haunt his friend forever.

"Jamie, she saw me. When I walked in, she was still conscious. And she looked at me, all sad, and said 'I'm so sorry Siri, I'm so sorry.' I'll _never_ forget what she said. And then her eyes changed, looking at me accusingly, and she whispered to me, 'How could you?' How could I, James? How could I?"

"Oh, Sirius, I'm sure she didn't mean-"

"She did- but she apologized for doing this…she didn't care about herself, she never did. She looked upset at the thought of causing me pain, she was only sorry I had to see it…Goddamn! How could I?!"

"What did you say to her?" James asked cautiously, after a few moments.

Sirius looked at James blankly. "I told her I didn't need her. Shoved our friendship in her face, made her take it back. We've grown so close, I feel like she's my sister…heh, she's you to me, James, family. She and you mean everything to me in the world, and I lied…I said I didn't need her. She's been trying to push me back towards you guys for months, she wanted to fix things between me and you; she hated the fact that you, the other most important person in the world to me, hated her. She thought if she made me hang out with her a lot less, you wouldn't dislike her so much. She needed your approval. And then there's Ace, who's been acting like a real prick and Peter too. Remus just walks around like he's in a shell, not really him. And you were angry with me; I'd rather be with her, at least she didn't hate me…"

"Sirius, I didn't hate you. And I didn't hate her…I was jealous. Oh man, I've been a real asshole, haven't I?"

Sirius smiled sadly. "Join the club."

They finally reached the infirmary. Not going in, James stood outside the entrance with Sirius. "Padfoot, alert Madam Pomfrey that they're about to bring Lily in. Is there anyone I should get?"

"Might want to get a shirt first."

"Oh, yeah. _Accio my navy t-shirt_." Quickly, the t-shirt came speeding down the corridor. (Not the bloody one, guys!) James pulled it on.

"Tell Bella, and Molly and Ashton. Remus deserves to know too."

"What about--?"

"I guess you can tell Ace, because he's a blood relative. Doesn't deserve to be."

"I know. Okay, Bella, Molly, Ash, Remus and Ace. We're in Charms, right?"

"Yeah. Hurry, Prongs." Sirius shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. "I can't face it alone. I need you too."

"Okay, Padfoot." James turned and walked slowly down the hall, glancing over his shoulder at Sirius, who called 'hurry' again and then disappeared into the infirmary. James picked up the pace, jogging slowly to his class. Not watching where he was going, he almost ran into McGonagall. "Oh, sorry Professor McGonagall. I must've been thinking about something else."

Her expression softened. "James. Did you get Sirius to the infirmary okay?"

"Yes Professor. He sent me to inform some of her close friends, and a relative…is that okay?"

"Of course, James. Could you explain the situation to Flitwick and ask him to ask Professor Caldwell to cover my class of second year Ravenclaws? I believe he has a free period. I need to help Professor Dumbledore."

"Sure, Professor. Uh, should I bring the others to the infirmary, or…?"

"No- we'll need room down there, but we shouldn't leave them in class. Bring them up to Dumbledore's office. This month's password is Cauldron Cakes."

"Professor, please let Sirius stay. Not in the actual room, but down there. He needs to. He feels responsible…"

"Of course, James. After you deliver the others to Dumbledore's office, come sit with him. He'll need the family support." Turning, McGonagall strode down the hall. James, remembering his task, headed towards the Charms room. He knocked before he stepped in.

"Mr. Potter, about time." Flitwick squeaked. "Where have you been? You are nearly twenty minutes late." James stepped up next to the teacher and a whispered conversation ensued as James informed him of the situation. "Oh my, Lily? How horrible. Yes, of course, which students do you need?" Flitwick whispered back.

"Bella Figg, Molly Thompson, Ashton Franco, Remus Lupin, and Ace Evans."

"Okay." Flitwick turned to face the class, who was pretending to work on their assignment. "Would Miss Figg, Miss Thompson, Miss Franco, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Evans please go with Mr. Potter. Bring your things, you will not be coming back." The five students looked confused, but quickly gathered their things and stepped to the front.

"Wait for me in the hallway," James instructed, looking sadly at each of them. Puzzled, they all nodded and headed out the doorway. James faced his Professor again.

"Something else?"

James nodded. "Professor McGonagall needs Professor Caldwell to cover her class. She asked me to ask you to contact him."

"Of course. I'll be sure all of her classes are covered for the rest of the day. Good luck, Mr. Potter, and God bless the poor girl."

James thanked him and stepped out into the hallway, where five expectant teenagers waited for him.

"Well?" Ace asked him.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked.

"And Lily?" Bella added. Molly and Ash nodded, clutching their things.

"I have something important to tell you. I think we should go to Dumbledore's office first, as instructed, and then I'll explain things."

"You better," Bella muttered, and the five followed him silently to Dumbledore's office.

When they reached the Stone Gargoyle, James said "Caldron Cakes," and the statue jumped aside, revealing stairs. "After you," he said to them all, and they slowly trooped up to the empty Headmaster's office, James following behind. Once they were all in, James shut the office door and faced his housemates. "Sit down," he sighed, grabbing a seat for himself. Each plopped into the nearest seat and James rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"What is it?" Ace asked, sounding less callous than usual.

James decided to state it plainly instead of dancing around the issue. "This morning, during breakfast, Lily Evans attempted to commit suicide." The room fell silent. Then--

"Oh god!" Bella sobbed, tears springing to her eyes. Molly turned, looking alone and dazed, trying to comfort her friend. Ashton's hand shot to her mouth, fear filling her eyes.

Remus leapt from his chair. "What?" he whispered, looking so distraught that James wished he hadn't opened his mouth at all. "You're lying!" he cried, shaking so badly James was afraid he was going to transform spontaneously. "You're playing a very mean prank, and it's not funny and I'll never speak to you again." His eyes pleaded James to retract what he'd said, but James could not.

"I'm sorry, Moony."

Ace sat frozen, unblinking and in shock. "No…" he whispered to himself. "How could this happen? How could she do this to me?"

This statement made Remus snap and he lunged at his friend. "She didn't fucking do this to you! She did it to herself, you selfish prat! This is not about you! Not everything is about you!" James stepped forward, prying the grappling boys apart.

"Guys! Is this helping Lily? Is this helping the situation?" James asked them, making each sit again. "I'm ashamed of you both, here is someone close to you who may be dying, and you're fighting like first years!"

"Dying?" Bella breathed, fighting against her tears. "But- James, you said 'attempt'. Meaning unsuccessful-"

"I meant she isn't dead yet, as far as I know. When I left, Sirius was at the 

hospital wing informing Madam Pomfrey that she was about to be brought in by Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. She's lost a lot of blood. I'm not so sure she'll make it-"

"No!" Remus yelled, jumping up again. "Don't even say that! She'll make it, she has to."

"Listen, you guys just sit tight while I go find out what's going on, okay? Mols, make sure those two stay off each other, okay?" After a slight nod from Molly, James strode out of the office purposefully, glad he hadn't been instructed to stay with the others, he wasn't sure he could bare the intense suffering, or the guilt that filled the air of the circular office.

~

There you have it, Chapter 12. Drama anyone?

Crys


	13. The Waiting Game

Here's my awesome, psychedelic disclaimer! This is Crys. I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the recognized characters. See? C-R-Y-S does not spell J. K. Rowling. Neither does water sprite. Just so you know. Don't be stupid like the McD's coffee lady and sue.

Summary: After five years in France, Lily returns to England, where she'll run headfirst into a past she'd once been forced to leave behind. "Stop pretending things are like they were. They'll never be the same and that was your doing. You lost your chance"

Sorry, updating doesn't seem to be my best asset. Hopefully you will see more of this story soon. I was having a lot of fun with it but then I suddenly lost interest. Here's a new chappie, hopefully up to standard. Chapter 13: The Waiting Game 

James approached the hospital wing slowly, dragging his feet slightly. The first class would be ending soon and James wondered if the word about Lily had gotten around yet. _Probably not,_ he thought. _At least no one will know…a third in Hogwarts! Gossip usually flies around this place like rockets. No one knows about Remus, though, and about Peter, Sirius and I. Lily's got the third… _

Sirius was slumped on a wooden bench in the 'waiting room' the hospital wing provided, looking half dead. James sighed heavily, causing his friend's head to whip up. "Oh. It's you." James couldn't help but notice the dead look in his friend's eyes.

"Yeah, it's just me. Any word on how she's doing?" Sirius shook his head. "Do you want me to go?" James asked softly.

Sirius looked up at him again, more frantically this time. "Don't," he whispered, his voice hoarse and tired. "Don't leave me, James. I just keep seeing her, over and over." James plopped down next to his friend. "All I can think is that it was my fault, all my fault."

"Sirius, Lily wouldn't blame you like this. From all the wonderful things you keep saying about her, I have the feeling she'd forgive you in a heartbeat, especially if she knew how torn up you were."

"Jamie- I treated her like unwanted gum on my shoe, trash, not worthy of the great Sirius Black." Harsh laughter, alien and desperate, filled the small room. "I never said I loved her, needed her- and now she might never know." Sirius' voice cracked, and James shifted uncomfortably in his seat to where he was facing his best friend.

"Padfoot, it'll be okay." James did the brotherly thing and swept Sirius up into a tight hug, holding him close. "Go ahead, cry, I'm here." At these words, Sirius broke into harsh sobs, clinging to James tightly. James wasn't sure how long they sat there, but it felt like eternity. Finally Sirius looked up, wiping the tears away.

"Thanks, Prongs, I needed that." _Some of the lively glint is back in his eye,_ James noticed with relief. "Now, tell anyone I cried, and I might have to do away with you." _A joke, _James thought happily. _He's making jokes. Thank Merlin for some things._ "Hey Jamie- do me a favor?"

"As long as I won't get in trouble for it. Unlike you, I could care less to beat the detention record."

Sirius chuckled slightly. "You wouldn't have a chance against me anyway. Oh James, Transfiguration god that you are, transfigure this hard ass bench into a plush, comfortable couch." James raised an eyebrow at him. "Please?"

"Okay, okay. Stand back and watch the fireworks." Brandishing his wand, James murmured an incantation and the bench Sirius had been sitting on turned into a couch.

"Oh, god," Sirius mumbled, settling back into it. "This is so comfortable. Come try this thing out." James sat down beside his friend, and soon after they both fell asleep, laying entangled on the most comfortable couch in the world.

This is how Albus Dumbledore found the two boys, both who slept haphazardly and heavily, splayed out on the couch. Grinning, he looked at the young men, so close they could be brothers, and were, in all appearances. His face saddened slightly at the grim looks on both boys' faces, even while asleep. _A shame, _he thought with a sigh._ The special twinkle of mischief, innocence, and youth has already begun to wear away. What horrible days we live in._ He kneeled next to them, shaking James awake first then Sirius. "Mr. Black, Mr. Potter. Awaken."

Sirius looked around groggily for a moment, then spotting his Professor, jumped up looking wide awake. Only he was still entangled with James and both boys tumbled to the floor at the Headmaster's feet. "Ow! Sirius, honestly, can't you stop moving for one bloody moment." Then James too noticed their Headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore. I- uh-" James stuttered, lurching to his feet as soon as he and Sirius were untangled, Sirius following suit.

"I praise your devotion, boys, but really- it is around three in the morning, you know?"

"Sorry, sir, we didn't mean to fall asleep right here-"

Sirius cut James off, knuckles white with their death grip on his robe sleeves. "How is she?" he asked, eyes begging Dumbledore to reassure him.

Dumbledore smiled, albeit wearily, and sat down on the recently vacated couch. "We've managed to stop the bleeding, and treat all of her cuts, and other injuries. She'll be fine, Mr. Black. In fact, she's asleep at the moment, but if you'd like to see her-"

"Please?" Sirius pleaded, looking like a child instead of a teenage boy.

"Of course, go right through there." Sirius walked slowly, almost nervously, away, heading in the direction Dumbledore pointed.

"Sir," James began, wetting his lips nervously. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on the couch-"

"It's fine, James, really, no need to be sorry. This is a very comfortable couch, by the way. Five points to Gryffindor," Dumbledore said with a grin. "And ten more points if you could transfigure some chairs in my office. Those old things are so uncomfortable even Professor McGonagall complains about them."

James grinned proudly, and nodded. Then he gasped. "Oh, shi-oops, I left Remus, Ace, Bella, Ash and Molly in your office, I was supposed to inform them-"

Again he was cut off. "James, relax, the crisis is over. Professor Sprout has seen to them. You boys fell asleep around lunch, and she went up to give them some food, the day off, and an update. I assure you they are all asleep in their beds, and will be awakened soon with the good news by Professor McGonagall herself. Would you like to join Sirius in the room with Miss Evans?"

James shook his head. "No, he needs to be alone with her for awhile. She and I- we aren't that close, you could say."

"And why is that?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"Well, I've been a bit of a prat, actually. In all seriousness, I was, hmm, how do I say this without looking even more of a git?"

"Were you jealous?"

"Of course he was," a familiar voice said. "Everyone wants to be bestest friends with the great Sirius Black!"

"Sirius, go stuff yourself!" James hollered at the boy who had been eavesdropping.

"That's not what you said this morning," Sirius replied in a sly, suggestive voice.

"Don't even go there!" James cried out, disgusted. "What are you doing back?"

"Well," Sirius said impishly. "She's asleep. Lady Lillian, fair maiden that she is, would kill me if I stole away any of her beauty sleep."

James shook his head knowingly. "You got bored, didn't you?"

"Wouldn't you?" Sirius asked with exasperation. "I mean, I love her, and I've been worried, but- I have all this suppressed energy. I haven't pulled a prank in at least 24 hours! I'm going insane here!" Dumbledore chuckled, startling the two boys, who had forgotten he was still sitting on the couch. "Not that I ever pull pranks, or misbehave in any way," Sirius added quickly. "I love rules, don't you James?"

James laughed. _This_ was his best friend. "Yeah, I love rules, and _you_ love to break them!"

"Thanks so much, Jamie my bulgarian cupcake, that helps my case ever so much- you fruit basket!"

Dumbledore was cackling mercilessly. "Bulgarian cupcake? Fruit basket? Really, Mr. Black, your vocabulary astounds me. Where did you get such wit?"

"Yeah," James chimed in. "We all know you lost all your brain cells through diffusion. How do you even string together a sentence?"

"The same way you breathe, fruit bat!"

"Give it up, you moron, those insults bite. _Snape_ dishes out better insults than you!"

"How dare you compare me to Snape, that villain!"

"Now, now, boys, you shan't talk about your fellow students with such disrespect…unless they are Sirius Black." Dumbledore said, standing up.

"Hey!"

"I'm off to bed. You boys can stay here, if you like. I'd like to meet with you both, as well as Remus, tomorrow in my office. And remember James- my chairs!" With a wink, he was gone.

"His chairs?" Sirius asked. "Is that what you kids are calling them nowadays? Do I _even_ want to know?"

"Urgh, Sirius, don't even! His chairs are hard, and he wants me to make them comfortable."

"Whoa! Jamie, way too much information! Lord save my virgin ears, which James Romeo Potter hath violated in the most horrible way possible."  
"Oh get over yourself Sirius, you and virgin don't even belong in the same sentence."

"James!" Sirius gasped, appalled. "Don't you think I'd tell you if I wasn't a virgin anymore?"

"You mean, you haven't-"

"No! Have you?"

"Well, no, but I mean, the great studly Sirius, a virgin?"

"Yes!" Sirius retorted hotly. "What about it?"

"Oh nothing, nothing at all," James replied quickly, digging his grave deeper.

"I am a bit of a stud, aren't I?" Sirius asked, grinning madly.

"You're on Hogwarts Top 5 Most Wanted list, you know."

"Am I? Damn, am I hot or what?"

"Get over yourself, you're starting to sound a lot like Glideroy Lockhart."  
"Oh, Roy baby? Can you believe he asked me if I wanted to join his fan club…I had no idea he was so popular."

"He isn't!" James howled, collapsing on the couch in laughter. "What a narcissistic git! He's a-"

"Could you people pipe down in there! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

The two boys froze. "Lily!" Sirius shouted for joy and leapt from the room. James quickly followed him down the hallway and turned off into a private room, where a fiery redhead was sitting up in her bed, arms crossed.

-

DUN DUN DUN!

Crys


End file.
